badge

Thursday, January 28, 2010

New definitions of old words


1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?

30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

10 comments:

  1. Still laughing. Oh so funny. I loved them. BTW - your print looks just fine. I can read it without problems.
    I think you enlarged it. Thank you so much. My vision is a real problem anymore. As much as I would like I have to skip reading some things when it strains my vision.
    You are such a sweetheart. I am so glad I met you my dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol! I just loved all of these meanings! They really made me laugh.
    This is one of the posts that I think "I wish I had thought of that first!"
    Love you, Farila!
    Big, big hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol... cool ones.. the first one itself was a punch :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very good! I am guilty of having lots of classic books that are not read. Well...I've read a few of them, but not many. But, it's on my list of things to do. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks .. nice to know you all enjoyed it... Smiles takes you miles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol:)..lovely definitions..thoroughly enjoyed!

    ReplyDelete
  7. he he he...great vocabulary farila..lol..!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I loved all the meanining list. #4 i've been experienced that.
    Great!
    hugs xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Farila, i enjoyed them all, and personally have dealt with quite a few if not all of them.
    BIG BIG HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  10. Credit can be found by various small businesses then one can simply get properly secured
    loans online Instant Payday Loans over the duration of such agreements,
    most borrowers often pay more in interest on loan in the end as they were
    originally.

    ReplyDelete

Your Opinion Matters....

AddThis

Rayyan Lost in Laptop

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
badge