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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Broken Wings....


I was reading a blog from Rae where she said how difficult it was to come up with blogs often and I have to agree with her.. For me it is my past which I am sharing here most of the time. Easy huh? Yeah, it is all there ready only to be typed and posted but only thing is it takes a lot of courage for me to come out with it at times...

I have been through the troublesome transition of being an innocent child into a teen with all new developments which were tough to handle. I was sort of tomboy kind of child and once I grew up my family was very much worried that I would land in trouble. They kept telling me about the fate that awaited girls who ventured out too much etc etc.

I was frustrated and felt as though I have been taken away from all the joys of life.... and I jotted down few lines of frustration back then which I am sharing with you now...

Broken Wings

On a dark night my mother gave me birth

And brought me forth to crawl on roughened earth

Once I was in a protective, warm womb

Suddenly I found myself crying in a bright tomb

I observed with misty eyes, faces full of smiles

With a lame leg I feared walking lengthy miles

Yet I stopped wailing and stood up to face tomorrow

Now I saw those smiling eyes were dipped in sorrow

Tell me my Lord, why I had to be born

Just to thread on paths strewn with thorns?

Shall I thank you for this life which is dear?

Or can I blame you ‘O’ Lord for putting me here?

Why? Oh why am I thrown into this mess?

Scared am I, scared by this haunting selfishness

Every minute I struggle and struggle again to survive

Easy it is to be born but tough to stay alive

Do you see just because I was born lame

They play dirty games but am I to blame?

How did you offer me these sips so bitter?

Does your heart enjoy when I have to slither?

Oh! Come on now, you don’t have a heart

Or else my life wouldn’t be so tart

I am disturbed by the eyes filled with lust

I have learnt a hard way, is ‘Lie’ is a must

I tried to be good and lost my fight father

My anger, rudeness or sobs did not help either

I am being pecked by vile human vultures

Scared am I, scared of their in-hidden natures

Many of them ‘O’ Lord, of goodness wear a mask

Knowing their true nature is very tough task

I learn a lesson everyday, yet I am so ignorant

I don’t get to come up world what is important

Though unsafe, I have to move on with the clock

My fortunes or misfortunes door I have to knock

Though I have hopes, many hands hold blanket

When I smell something fishy, there is tap on my claret

I am made to bite my tongue whenever I speak the truth

The word ruthless has survived, dead is the word ruth

I served love only to get indignation as tips

Now even my smile weeps for it has lost my lips

My heart is broken. Why was it made of glass?

O God! Why didn’t you give me a heart of better class?

What can I do now with the life you gave?

Even my freedom is murdered because it was brave

I am not strong enough to come out and be free

Yet I cannot stand in a place for I am not a tree

Sure I will never throw away the life you gave

I will live and live till I am shut in my grave

Even then like a seed which spouts into a tree

I may sprout again if you allow me a spree.

10 comments:

  1. This is lovely and sad too, the words are so heartfelt .. " I will live and live..".
    Thank you for sharing.
    I agree it's tough to post regularly.
    Bless you.
    BM

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  2. This was beautiful and moving. Also something I can so easily relate to. Different 'disabilities' but disabilities none the less. Thank you... I love you farida.

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  3. Beautifully written. Very touching and moving. It is amazing the depth of your experience. You are an exceptional person. I am truly blessed to have met you.

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  4. Thanks all of you.. every time I post something from my past and you say that you understand or something meaning like that .. I feel so light and free... it is working like a catharsis for me.
    BM- I kept my word about living..
    Pee- Love you too
    Rae - I am so glad to have met you. Your posts have so much of meaning all the time. Love reading them.

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  5. Farila, you are one of the strongest people that I know! You have come through so many difficulties and obstacles in your life, yet you have conquered them all!
    I really admire your courage to go on when so many of us would have just crumbled.
    Love you, girl, so you had better keep going, or I would be totally lost!
    Big Hugs, and best wishes for you and your Family!

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  6. Thank you Farila for your comforting comments. Blessings to you.
    BM

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  7. Good evening and happy to be here. Thanks

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  8. Very touching and beautiful and sad.
    Farila, just so you know you are my inspiration! My hero i'd better say!
    Best wishes to you and your family.
    I'm thinking of you and i send you a big hug!
    xoxo

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  9. Thank you Betty.. Your words always encourage me to do better with each post.

    ReplyDelete

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