Doctors had told me that my daughter was born with multiple disabilities. It is not easy for a mom to accept the fact that her child is exceptional and will have challenges doing simple activities. It was very tough on me to accept the fact that my 2 month old daughter was suffering from some kind of atrophy to her brain which had taking away her ability to see. The effect the brain atrophy would have on her life was not known then but it was clear that she had no vision. My cute little baby who looked so healthy with beautiful eyes had no vision and suffered from some unknown terrible malady which could take away more of her much needed abilities was unacceptable to me. The VEP proved she had no vision.
I was feeding my daughter and the phone started to ring. The landline went on tring tring for some time and then paused. I wanted to finish with the task on hand first and then attend to the phone. It started to ring again. I put up daughter down and attended to the call.
Caller : Is this Farida Rizwan?
Me : yeah
Caller : Ma’am, I am receptionist from the hospital calling. You had been here last week and doctor said your child was not normal. She says there has been mistake in the diagnosis and they regret it. Your daughter is absolutely fine and there is no need to worry.
Me: OH MY GOD! I knew it. I knew there had been a mistake. Thank you so much …
I left the phone hanging and ran to my daughter but slipped and woke up to the dark night engulfing me. It was still night and I was dreaming. My two kids were sleeping as though there was nothing wrong with the world around them.
Life moved on with harsh reality of life and another reality of life was breast cancer. Did not even give me chance to recover from the shock of my daughters diagnosis. Surgery, chemotherapy along with support from my kids and family pushed me on. Yet there was no way to be sure that the demon would not come back.
I was in my native place and having my lunch when my Nokia 1100 started ringing the tune of Dhoom.. I picked it up and had my brother on the line. He was calling from Bangalore.
Brother : Hi Fari. I have a good news for you!
Me : what?
Brother : I need you to sit down before I tell this to you.
Me : OK OK !!! I am sitting down. Please tell me soon. Did you get some good job?
Brother : Doctor told me today that they have finally found a cure for Farheena. All she needs is a medicine to be administered to her for 3 months and then she is going to be able to walk, talk, read and write like any one of us.
Me : It is like dream come true.. Oh God! I am leaving for Bangalore today.
I put the phone down and tried to finish the last two morsels of food lying on my place but then choked on it. I closed my eyes and then opened them into utter darkness of night. So the dream had remained to be just the dream. It had not come true. My kids like usual were sleeping as though nothing was amiss in their lives.
The dream went on and as my phones kept changing the only aspect was the tone the look of the phone that changed. How much we steel ourselves to the reality, love of kid never lets you stop wishing and those wishes manifest as a dream for me. Always!
I was looking at the new touch screen phone which I had won online. I felt so proud announcing to my facebook friends that I was writing my status through the one touch phone I had won online. As I was looking at the key pad to find the right words I saw the screen lighting up and announcing an incoming call. It was a call from USA. My friend Paula was calling from her cell phone. As she was having tough time I got worried.
Me : Hi, how are you Pee?
Paula : I am fine. Actually you need to come back to USA as soon as possible. There has been a breakthrough in the medicine and they have found a way to treat Farheena. She is going to gain her full mobility, speaking skills etc. What do you think?
Me: OH God!! I knew they could do it…
And then all of the sudden everything goes blank and it is totally dark. I wonder what happened during midday to create such darkness and then I realize I was still dreaming.
Phone change but the wish remains the same…. Life goes on!