Saturday, December 26, 2009

Me and God....

Thank God! This is the end of the pain….

“Do you always thank God for the good things that happen to you?”

“Not always but sometimes I do thank God. I am not sure it just slips out like an expression all the time. There are times when I really feel grateful to God and say thank you to him. My experience of God is totally different and it is unique to me. I do not much believe in what other people have to say about God. My faith is built by what I feel. Like one of the incidents that happened which made my faith go through a roller coaster ride.

“Few yrs ago I had an encounter with God. He hit me hard on my head. The problem was I couldn’t say this to anyone because I was being naughty when this happened and there would be punishment waiting for me.

It all started because of the fight me and my sister always have going on between us. My sister loves to run the table fan in full speed and I do not like it that way. I was more sensitive to cold weather and therefore I would always feel cold and start shivering in the night and it was so difficult to sleep. But she always insisted to keep the fan running even in winter and we would fight about it. One day the fight continued for a long time and she hit me. She was much stronger than me and most of the kids around and hitting her back would just earn me few more hard blows. I was very angry with her and decided to teach her a lesson. So I got the blade I kept for sharpening the pencil and began cutting the wire of the fan. I had made sure everybody was engaged in something or other and there was no one in the room. I had taken all precautions yet after sometime someone hit me so hard on the head that I fell down. I looked around but found no one there either in the room or out of it. I then suddenly remembered what Sister Laurence had told us in the Moral Science class. She had warned us to be good or else God will punish us. It was then that I suddenly realized that God was angry with me. This thought really scared me but I couldn’t talk about it because then I would be punished for cutting the wire and also my sister would make fun of me. After this incident I became less naughty because the thought of a blow landing from nowhere was very scary.”

“It is very rare for God to really land a blow on a small child”

“Yes. And later on I realized he did not hit me. It was just confusion on my part. Last month in my science book I learnt about electricity and wires. Suddenly I realized I had just got the shock reaching the copper wire after cutting through the plastic covering. It was not Gods blow. But now I have grown up and I have also lost touch with playing pranks. For some time I haven’t been lying and cheating fearing God’s blow and life has been easy that way. So I think I will stay like this from now on. That incident made me very honest and good. Everybody has been good to me and teachers also place their trust in me. When I say something they don’t doubt me so I can’t just let them down now. May be after all God loves me and it is his way of making me be good. It may really have been a blow from him because he must have been tired of my pranks. I have a friend in school too with whom I don’t talk very often. That is just because he is a boy and everybody makes a big fuss about a girl being friend with boy. I can’t understand why? I actually find boys more interesting than girls. They make paper boats and planes so well. They know about cars, bikes and cricket. But girls always talk about everything so silly. They don’t know anything about cricket or hockey. I am sort of forced to listen to them because I can’t get into the boy’s group where all the interesting talk is taking place. This friend of mine is not from our school but comes here sometimes. He is from some orphanage run by Christian missionaries. He comes here to the convent to meet some nuns. I really never got to know where he was from nor what was he visiting our school for. But I did not like him or may be I was jealous of this particular boy because he would come storming on his bicycle and then hoot suddenly which would make us jump out of our skins and then would laugh at us. Now who likes to be made fun of? The nuns were very good to him and they openly showered love on him which did not go down well with me”.


Rayyan Lost in Laptop

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