Monday, February 25, 2013

Trapped in a cocoon...

An Update : Surfing through some past articles, I chanced upon this blog post today. Somehow now I fail to relate to it, as I have walked down the path of success since the day I wrote this blog post  few years ago. I love my wings and freedom, especially knowing that I need not depend financially on anyone to take care of me or my children. No more do I feel trapped. 

Trapped In a Cocoon
Marriage is big step for any person. It means commitment, love, affection and companionship. Add a big sacrifice to the list when it comes to Indian women... at least to most of them.

Going through the customs, functions and parties, I did not realize what I was getting into when I got married. It took me years to realize how I had entered a trap and stayed there without realizing that
  • I had lost my personal identity
  • I had lost most part of my freedom
  • I had lost the ability to make my own decisions
  • I could not relate to the individual 'me' without being a wife, mother or some tag attached to myself
  • I had stopped thinking about myself and my happiness
  • I had got into a relationship with more people than my husband and had to deal with them
  • I was becoming subdued and sacrificial
  • I was trying very hard to make everyone proud of me
  • I thought I could make others happy and I should try to make others happy
The realization, when it happened, shook me to the core slowly awakening me from the slumber I had slipped into. The unused parts of brain had become rigid and refused to move but I did not quit trying. I am working to find myself, the person who is the real me other than what I am meant to be because of my connections to others. The journey continues ……………………

A poem I wrote when I took the first step of self actualization.

Trapped in a cocoon...

The free butterfly spreading its wings
Flew around playing with winds
Sipping nectar and dew from flowers
In bright sunlight shining its colours
Over the hills and over the dales
Freely it flew, with no fear of gales

Sadly, one fine day it got trapped in a cocoon
Losing its freedom and spending time in gloom
Wishing to be free from the suffocating pain
Wondering in the dark how to be free again

For the cool breeze is still blowing
The dews like pearls are still glowing
Over the hills, the day is so sunny
All the flowers are filled with honey

But the wings are not strong being under cover
The cocoon has dented its flights power
There are weights bearing the wings down
With all the strings attached; weary it has grown

The cocoon is strong but not unbreakable
Long flights and strides is now impossible
One step at a time leaning on a cane
Towards freedom, the butterfly moves again….

By: Farida Rizwan.


Rayyan Lost in Laptop

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