Monday, February 25, 2013

Trapped in a cocoon...

An Update : Surfing through some past articles, I chanced upon this blog post today. Somehow now I fail to relate to it, as I have walked down the path of success since the day I wrote this blog post  few years ago. I love my wings and freedom, especially knowing that I need not depend financially on anyone to take care of me or my children. No more do I feel trapped. 

Trapped In a Cocoon
Marriage is big step for any person. It means commitment, love, affection and companionship. Add a big sacrifice to the list when it comes to Indian women... at least to most of them.

Going through the customs, functions and parties, I did not realize what I was getting into when I got married. It took me years to realize how I had entered a trap and stayed there without realizing that
  • I had lost my personal identity
  • I had lost most part of my freedom
  • I had lost the ability to make my own decisions
  • I could not relate to the individual 'me' without being a wife, mother or some tag attached to myself
  • I had stopped thinking about myself and my happiness
  • I had got into a relationship with more people than my husband and had to deal with them
  • I was becoming subdued and sacrificial
  • I was trying very hard to make everyone proud of me
  • I thought I could make others happy and I should try to make others happy
The realization, when it happened, shook me to the core slowly awakening me from the slumber I had slipped into. The unused parts of brain had become rigid and refused to move but I did not quit trying. I am working to find myself, the person who is the real me other than what I am meant to be because of my connections to others. The journey continues ……………………

A poem I wrote when I took the first step of self actualization.

Trapped in a cocoon...

The free butterfly spreading its wings
Flew around playing with winds
Sipping nectar and dew from flowers
In bright sunlight shining its colours
Over the hills and over the dales
Freely it flew, with no fear of gales

Sadly, one fine day it got trapped in a cocoon
Losing its freedom and spending time in gloom
Wishing to be free from the suffocating pain
Wondering in the dark how to be free again

For the cool breeze is still blowing
The dews like pearls are still glowing
Over the hills, the day is so sunny
All the flowers are filled with honey

But the wings are not strong being under cover
The cocoon has dented its flights power
There are weights bearing the wings down
With all the strings attached; weary it has grown

The cocoon is strong but not unbreakable
Long flights and strides is now impossible
One step at a time leaning on a cane
Towards freedom, the butterfly moves again….

By: Farida Rizwan.


  1. free the butterfly goes by,
    i wonder which flowers
    it has visited so far
    or which flowers to is due to meet
    the wind dances by
    as it flutters about
    and i wonder
    what they both speak about
    the butterfly circles on and around
    i wonder if there is something
    i want to tell me
    thinking where to help it settle
    on my finger
    or on my imaginary wing
    then off it goes leaving my thoughts
    to a tree or to flowers far off me
    my eye scan the place
    the flutter is gone so has the wind...


  2. Beautiful! And Wanderer's was beautiful as well.

  3. Hello,

    Brilliant poem.

    This "cocoon" can be anything like a bad job, marriage etc in the human context.

    Nice read.


  4. Oh such a beautiful poem!!!! I really liked it!!

  5. Oh Farila, this is so beautiful! Yes, this cocoon could be anything, but one day, when you least expect it,it will fly free again!
    Big, big hugs, my dear friend!

  6. Just beautiful , Farila!
    I loved the pic, as well!
    Hope you're having a wonderful Sunday!
    Betty xx

  7. Beautiful Post. The cocoon is unbreakable. But once broken, the Butterfly can fly freely. Lovely writing.


  8. Aww... that is so sweet! nice poetry to complement the pic and vice versa :)

  9. Farida ji,
    Those lines are so beautifully expressed. I guess it is never too late to find yourself. Realizing that the butterfly has the wings that could help her fly is a huge awakening in itself. Not many of us are gifted with such vision. I am glad that you are one among the opportune ones. Thanks for sharing your exquisite thoughts. Following your blog. You may like to follow mine.
    Barkha Dhar

  10. A poem full of hope and positivity! Very touching lines with delicate emotions...Wonderful!

  11. Beautifully worded. How well we can relate our life to the life in a cocoon.

  12. Oh.. beautifully written. Realising that it is trapped and making up it's mid to be free again is a big leap towards freedom. Once the mind is made up to be free, it will find it's own path to freedom!
    Yearning to see a poem on the joys of experiencing freedom soon.

  13. Beautiful poem.. so much for self realisation!
    also loved Wanderer's version..

    Your new follower.
    Defiant Princess

  14. Beautiful poem and very factual and touching write up. tumbaa chennagidhe.
    catch me on sushmaspage.blogspot when you can find time.

  15. You do have the gift of expression lady, cherish it. And keep sharing with others as you are already doing, well done!

  16. Beautiful expression of the agony.In Indian context, therefore it said-'Aabla Naari'.

  17. I liked the poem and the analogy is unmistakable. At the same time, I felt this might, I am afraid its going to discourage people from getting married =)

  18. Indian women have stood the challenge of Sati system, dowry deaths and home abuse for a long time. This is not going to discourage them in any way.. You will find a wife Giridhar. ;)

  19. It is so true. But i don’t understand why do people make mistakes and sometimes it irks me when marriage is the ultimate agenda in the life of people. Some girls get married to ease social pressure and act like total teenage show-off types.
    What happened to the individuality?

    But i would never let anyone suffocate my individuality come what may.

    God bless you.

  20. Its actually alarming to c the declining rates of successful marriages in d world today!
    When it comes to indian society its definitely a step ahead..all in all my personal opinion is that marriage is gamble..u just got to set ur cards right!

    the poem is lovely :)


  21. I can only say this: you dont need to live in India to feel trapped in a cocoon.. I felt trapped in my marriage, and I did everything to make it better, unless breaking my self free. One day I did. There was no other way for me. Just remember that the butterfly transform inside that cocoon and break it self out as a little vorm. New, and growing into a new butterfly.. :)

  22. Thanks for your supportive words everyone.

  23. Nicely written.. It is the story of almost 80% housewives.

  24. oh...beautiful poem...

    the journey continues...towards freedom.

  25. Wonderful post and beautiful poem :)

  26. A very interesting piece...still have to get married, almost in the age. Read this post makes me more nervous though

  27. Being in a cocoon is also part of our journey to knowing ourselves. Only when there is a loss do we realize what we had. Keep your center no matter what happens around you and All will be Well.

    P.S. came here via Shail's sharing. Beautiful poem :).

  28. Loved all the points you made. It does seem wrong that one partner is made to see marriage (or relationships) as more important than the other partner. There can be no balance or harmony without individuality and freedom. Humans need to be themselves, we need not live in cocoons.

  29. Keep spreading those wings, Farida. For myself, I'm glad I stayed single. Even then, it's hard enough to break out. xoxo

  30. You are very right when you said marriage is all about sacrifices and more so in India. If we don't do it, we are labelled.

    A moving poem and all I wanna say is 'Soar High!'


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