All Indians know the secret of Sachin’s energy through the famous Ad which had children, even those who did not love milk, gulping it down in a jiffy.
When I came across the video
#KhudKoKarBuland I wondered why no one is interested in knowing the secret of amazing strength,
patience and selflessness that comes with special parenting. Does it not require some superpower to give a dignified and happy life to a child who enters your life with a challenge? Not
many are interested in knowing the secret of my energy because, I haven't scored
runs or brought in medals for everyone to sit up and notice me. What I have
done is just hold on to hope and pursue my own goal with deadly perseverance.
“What great goal was that?” you may ask. Let me share it with you.
The biggest challenge came when my daughter reached the age
of 3, but could not walk. Some people and experts advised me to put her on a
wheelchair. With my mastectomy, it was not easy for me to carry her around.
But, I was hesitant to give up so soon. Hence, I decided to carry her around
and make her walk with support whenever she could. Once she was put on a
wheelchair, I knew that the comfort would lure her from taking steps and also I
would not struggle as much. Slowly Farheena started taking a few steps.
She also started speaking few words, writing her name, brushing her teeth, combing her hair and taking care of me as well. Every single achievement from Farheena brought us so much of joy.
It was a proud moment for Maa when Farheena could stand erect beside me........................
When my pretty princess was born, everyone in the family was
overjoyed. She was a chubby, happy, sleepy baby who stole our hearts with her
mere presence. Doctors declared her a perfect baby with normal growth and
health. There were celebrations all around. As days passed by, I noticed there was something different about my baby, especially the way she looked
around. It looked as though she was interested in things kept above. She never
looked at the floor. It became obvious to me that she was not making eye contact even
when I tried hard when breast feeding her. I remembered my first born making eye
contact with me at the age of 6 weeks. I waited 2 more weeks before getting in
touch with her pediatrician regarding this issue. In a moment all the happiness
was turned into chaos as doctors found out that my lovely baby had no vision.
It was confusions and chaos in torrents after that.
Initially, we it was said she was blind, but later it was found that her eyes
were intact but the optic nerves were not functioning. Some more tests revealed
she had hydrocephalus (a condition that causes fluid to accumulate in the
brain) which required a surgery. Later that idea was dropped down as well.
Finally it was said that Farheena had atrophy in her brain. There was no
predicting what her development would be. I was told that she may never gain
her vision, may not be able to walk or talk but not to give up hope.
I think our children (especially those with challenge) are a
great source of strength and energy for us. From a nervous broken woman, I
transformed into a warrior who would fight with the world to give the best for
my daughter. At this stage I was diagnosed with breast cancer (stage III).
Another hurdle, another setback but I was not going to give up. My daughter
gave me enough strength, motivation and power to kick the cancer butt so hard,
that I have remained NED (No Evidence of Disease) for 19 years now.
The challenges in bringing up my daughter trickled in one
after another.
She had to be trained to pull her tongue inside her mouth.
The shoulder retraction had to be reduced.
She was stimulated to different textures and consistencies.
She needed to show how to sit, roll over and lift her head
up.
The list would keep growing with every visit I made to the
hospital. Early intervention and proper planning helped me bring out the best
in Farheena. Everything that I had taken for granted when bringing up my son
was staring at me as a new challenge every day. I had made up my mind that I
was not going to give up on anything, including trying to make a doctor out my
daughter. I also promised myself, that I am not going to force my baby or get
frustrated when things did not work. There were times when our effort brought
in results and also times when every effort when down the drain. I remained
calm and kept trying.

She also started speaking few words, writing her name, brushing her teeth, combing her hair and taking care of me as well. Every single achievement from Farheena brought us so much of joy.
With time I could carry her around effortlessly. Simultaneously, with
passing time, the few steps increased in number and Farheena could walk quite
some distance with little support. At home she started moving around
independently.
I did not keep her away from any activity. She would wash
the utensils, sweep and mop the home, paint with us, write in the books (even
if it was just scribbling), enjoy the beach and live her life to the fullest. Farheena
grew up a happy child who could win everyone’s hearts. She spread happiness
around her, wherever she went.
At the age of 18, Farheena finished her special education
and became a part of vocational center YST. Yesterday when she walked in with
her earning of Rs. 370/- , the chaos, confusions and struggle finally seemed to
settle down.
Finally it is time for me to wake up and realize that I
cannot be there for her always. Now is the time to give her security, so that
she can continue to live her life to the fullest even without me.
Farheena has taught me a lesson that there is no need to
panic or become desperate; no matter what great challenge you face. You can
always make yourself strong enough to overcome hurdles thrown in your path.
Allama Iqbal was right when he said,
“Khudi ko kar buland itna ke har taqder se pehle Khuda bande
se khud pooche bata teri raza kya hai.”
As Life Unfolded For Farheena
![]() |
Sharing a Happy Moment with Sandy.. her friend from across the globe |
![]() |
Proudly holding the prize she won at Kalangana |
Enjoying Music |
![]() |
Imitating Grandma |
![]() |
Enjoying evening walks with brother |
![]() |
Sharing happy moment with grandma |
![]() |
Washing Bike |
No words, Farida. Just hugs. I have met you and Farheena and as a parent I salute you for how you've brought up both your children. You are an inspiration, and I don't say those words lightly. Lots of love.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rachna...
DeleteYou have every reason to be proud of Farheena. You are one hell of a woman who is an inspiration to others. We can understand (try to) what you have gone through. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteFriends like you have made my job of keeping Farheena happy so easy! Thank you Janaki
DeleteI love this post! Farheena has greatly exceeded all expections. I can see how peaceful and smart she is. You're a wonderful mother. I'm happy that your love for her, and even the cancer, made you more energetic and driven.
ReplyDeleteLove reading your words! Farheena is an amazing young lady today because of you! I am blessed to call you my friend!
ReplyDelete~Sandy O~
You did what had to be done....never give up and keep gently prompting. Farheena was surrounded by your love and grew up to reflect the confidence that security gives. Lynn (Ladybirds)
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