Not all women are fools ... some are single.

Another good one that came in fwd mail...



Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Charles had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.

The night went very well. The next day, Janice told her Red Hat friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Charles even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends..

'Oh, that......... Charles was too tired.'

Wife is Life

Wife is a knife who cuts the strife
And makes amiable your burdened life
She is your mate when the passions arise
An attorney when you need advice
A loving mother when you need care
As a companion your sorrows she will share
A toiling slave when you need service
A friend to help in time of crisis
A cook serving you dishes so nice
‘MAN’ before you say wife is knife 
who cuts life; Think twice

By: Good wife Farida Rizwan.

Life is worth living........

Even if the sky is full of dark clouds
Every dark cloud has a silver lining
Every hot summer has a rain
Though life is full of pain
For that moments of rain and silver lining
Life is worth living……………………….

By Farida Rizwan

Awards and tags...

Today I received an award from not so familiar friend who is a working mom with two babies (Peanut -- 4/07 and the Pumpkin Man -- 12/08), a stay at home husband. Thank you very much Tumbleweed.

I know I had three more awards to be distributed among friends and decided today I will sit down and do it though I know I have blogs to catch up with.
So here I am sharing the award of friendship which I received from mothersalways and Supriya’s tag time along with Alice’s Happy award.

If I have missed any award then just pinch me and I will promptly do it. My memory is not what it used to be Sigh!



Here comes the Sugar Doll and One lovely blog award from lapnoodles….I was very much touched by her kind words for me. I am so happy to have touched her life in a positive way.

This will hopefully cover up Supriya’s tag of disclosing ten honest things about me.

Now the horror of disclosing ten things about me which you have not guessed by now. Even if it looks simple please scream in shock…

1) I always fancied marrying a soldier who was very brave and feared nothing. Sigh!
2) The worst kind of hatred in my heart is towards paedophiles
3) If there are Swedish, Russian or Spanish subtitles I lose the good movie trying to read what I can never figure out anyway.
4) At present I do not have TV, Oven, running water, washing machine in my home.
5) I have studied at least 7 different religions
6) I can read and write in 4 languages though English is my most favorite
7) I have smoked one cigarette when I was 8 yrs old. After that it has been a firm no to any kind of smoking or alcoholic beverages.
8) I use gift of gab to prove my point in an argument which is not fair. Even if the opponent is right he/she can never prove it against me.
9) Even though I am not as peaceful as them I admire Buddha, Gandhi etc.
10) If I see a snake, if my hand in stuck in car door, if I have a bad fall I usually react very calmly to the situation. I just say- there is snake, or please open the car door, my hand is stuck in it. It is usually followed by silence from my audience and then all the hell breaks loose…
I bet you did not know any one of those weird things about me.

Now for Alice’s happy award .. I am so happy that finally I am sitting down and doing this.



Ten things that make me happy

1) Watching a peaceful sunset or sunrise… Especially on seashore
2) Old couple totally in love with each other
3) Hand some men like Tom Cruise, Pierce Brosnan, etc
4) Any kind or species of children ( other than the brats like I was in my childhood ;) ) including my two wonderful kids who are growing up fast.
5) When people are intently listening to me
6) When I feel eating ice-creams and chocolates will not cause weight gain.. (that feeling does not last though)
7) The day my husband comes back from gulf and the day he goes back to gulf.
8) People who have a great sense of humor like Einstein
9) Good books, blogs, internet surfing. In short something wonderful to read
10) Me. I usually make myself very happy.

Finally for BM’s friendship awards

St Augustine reflected that 'Friendship constitutes a country for those in exile, a fortune for the poor, a remedy for the sick, and a life for the dead. It provides pleasure for those who are well, strength for the weak, and a reward for the strong.'



Now I can again talk about myself .. this is all about me isn’t it?

5 things about me

1) I was born 1 minute to midnight on October 23rd
2) I am doing my graduation now
3) I am quite a good cook and have invented few good recipes
4) I love sewing and embroidering.
5) I learned to swim at the age of 42.

I have decided not to tag anyone on to this awards but anyone is free to pick them up and pass it on ... only condition is mention the bloggers who gave this award to me. I assure you these blogs are wonderful and you will be hooked to them quite soon.

The cleaning Poem

Got this in my email few days ago and I decided to share it with you all...
As we are having a big power crisis in our area I am on and off the computer. At times I am commenting, reading on blogs when the power goes pooff on me. When I log back in I forget to recall the blogs I was visiting etc ... I am lost on internet with the present crisis.
So my wedding has to wait for sometime... preparations have started. Will send out invitations soon enough. LOL.
As for now... read on the poem.

Cleaning Poem

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my fanny
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick....
I was just admiring my work.
I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops I found
A real absorbing site.
That I got SO way into it.
I was into it all night.

Nothing's changed except my mouse
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess....
While I sit here on my hiney.

Health Science and I Conquer Breast Cancer for 13 Years and Running

Other than the little girl .. everyone in the above picture is a survivor.....

I am submitting my blog under the category of Health and Hygiene.

Kicking cancer butt and keeping it away for 13 years 

Twenty years ago a breast cancer diagnoses was a death sentence, but thanks to many who are dedicated to finding a cure, some patience, and decades of research, women have a chance to survive now. 

 Thirteen years ago Cancer invaded my body and demanded that I suffer chemo, go through hair loss and give away one of my breast. I had to do it for my survival and did it grudgingly. I hated it with all my heart and considered BC to be one of my worst enemies ever. It went to prove me right by taking away my sister and mom in years to come.

Today after 13 years I am sitting here and thinking of personally what did I lose and what did I gain from breast cancer or precisely gain in my life after BC. Loss of one breast. I had lost my hair too but it has come back. Self confidence has grown much more than what it used to be. I value my life more now because I had to fight for it.. and that too with a demon named cancer. I feel my life is something I have earned now. I have enjoyed watching my kids grow into their teens and loved every moment of it (other than few moments like Farheena going through her surgery etc). I would never have known how wonderful my kids are and how blessed I am to have them if I had not fought cancer furiously 13 years ago.

I turned into an extrovert after my cancer experience. It was just too much to keep in my chest and I felt my ribs breaking out. So had to pour out everything and found out how good it is to share our feelings. I have found amazing friends in the past 13 years. Also some wonderful people who made much difference to me. They changed me into much better person and also made me realize my own potential and resources. When I had slipped into a great depression, one of the counselor , who used to visit us during my sisters illness suggested I go to helping hand which is a free counseling center in Bangalore. Initially I was very hesitant but when I visited helping hand, I met people who changed me for good and also made me much better person with my kids and all kids in general. I cannot forget how helpful the people at Helping Hand have been for me and my kids. They are the ones who do not give you fish but teach you fishing.

There have been friends who have made me realize that it is not necessary to be rigid. Sometimes it helps to flow with the tide and enjoy life. I don't know where I would be today without the help from these people. Farheena being a special needs kid, me getting BC and losing my sister to BC all in a span of year made it very tough for me to handle it emotionally. Rizwan was being nasty and was not much of help. He came out with his worst self when I was going through worst period. May be he was not tough enough to handle the pressure cancer brings with it and also he was not willing to accept that he has a special needs child. He was living in complete denial. Strangers supported me emotionally where my close ones failed.

I hear all the horror tales of doctors and wonder where they are.. because all the doctors I have met so far have been very kind and helpful to me. Most of them are sort of like good friends. I have wonderful friends half way across the globe who I may never have met if not for cancer. I don't like having cancer but when I think what would I have missed in life if not for cancer then may be I don't hate it totally. I have found more friends recently again (Like Marin and Kathi from breastcancer.org) who have been through this ordeal like me and it amazes me to see how quickly we bond together, even though we have a grand canyon of difference between our cultures and lifestyles.

As a kid I had a dream of visiting Disney World. I am cartoon and comic book lover and wanted to be in their world sometime. Always wondered whether that would ever happen... Then there was Rayyan who always wanted to see NYC . I still cannot believe that we realized our dreams last year. The most shocking part was Rizwan willing to give consent to our visit to USA and also providing the tickets first to USA and then to Disney World. How things were set in right place is very amazing. We got to enjoy the fireworks on 4th of July from the best view possible in Philadelphia courtesy of another survival friend Judy. There were amazing people who accompanied us and made our Disney World trip totally enjoyable.

I know I bitch, groan and moan and also at times squeak and squeal LOL.at life but then realize how much I have and feel grateful to God. I feel angry at my friends when they misunderstand or under estimate me and my values but then I realize no matter what I still love them. Cancer makes it easy to forgive follies..I have known the joy of being in water and got introduced to swimming on my USA trip. Loved it a lot and miss it now..

Some may find this funny but I have found a great joy in knowing a wonder machine called computer. It was love at first touch for me. I am a woman of questions and computer with internet has most answers though not for those important questions which I have to find answer all by myself.

I have lived for thirteen years being NED and enjoyed my life with my children, family, friends and computer. Have loved playing games, tasted new food, dressed in a new ways and become totally non-religious person. I trust and believe in God a lot but realize I am not meant to belong to any religion. The battle has been won and has remained on my side until now and the life after cancer has been worth fighting for... so to anyone who is fighting cancer. Kick hard and fight with all your might and will power. Don't give in. I know I will not.....

Link to participate in the contest

I am tagging three more bloggers to participate in the contest..

Alice.. http://thewondersofalice.blogspot.com/

Simone .. http://chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.com/

BM ...http://mothersalways.blogspot.com/

Wow!!! I hit a century....

On April 20, 2009 I started to write the chapters of my life. I am glad to announce today that I have finally reached my 100th blog ...........oooooopppppssss blog post. Wow!

I came over to blogspot to read Jeff’s blog. One day I thought, 'why not share my writings on blogspot?' I cannot say I was totally new to blogging because I had been writing this and that on yahoo 360 earlier. It was very difficult for me initially to find someone to even visit my page… I did not know how to find good blogs and connect with people.. but as days went by I got a hang of blogging. Then plainolebob introduced me to few wonderful bloggers and since then blogging has been different…
My blog is mostly about my own experiences of past.. I was an introvert until cancer entered my life and opened all the doors and windows to the world. I could not continue to be an introvert anymore and once out of shell I loved it. So most of my writings which have never been seen by anyone else have started making its way to my blog.

I have loved sharing my diary like writing of Discovering myself series with my friends. It has taken a big effort on my part not to hide my bad traits and come out with the truth. I am quite sure that I would not do those things now because I have learned my lessons.. but I am not sure. I find myself to be a wickedly naughty and mischievous person even now.

I want to start another series of writing about my marriage and the cultural shock I had after being married. I will soon be sending out invitations to all of you to attend my wedding and join my journey there. Hope my DH will not mind it…. ;)

I thank you all my wonderful supporters on blogspot for making my blogging time wonderful and enjoyable. I would like to mention few bloggers who I admire a lot - Betty,
Alice, Dina, Jeff, Bob, BM, and Mike who have been here for quite some time.

Lately I have found some very good new friends like Rae, Supriya, chocolate covered daydreams, Matty who have quickly become a part of my blog. Now again I see some more people getting connected who are giving me wonderful feed back and I would mention Nipun, Hitesh, Nalini Hebbar, Wanderer, lisa, Gayle, Fierce etc and sure being a human being I know I have missed few and will regret later when I think of them….

So for today .. nothing much to say other than, I am so grateful to everyone of you for your opinions, frank discussions etc which encourages me to write more.
Thank you! ( She says with a broad smile and small bow )

Avenging Julie and learning right from wrong..........

One day a verbal duel took place between my grandmother and me. It so happened that I was coming back from school and my sister was just behind me. Instead of running into us, Julie flew at us at the level of 2 feet above the ground and landed a little in front of me. I was shocked as to what must have happened and then saw my grandmother coming after her… and concluded she had kicked the poor kitty.

“How dare you kick a poor little cat like that Naani?”

“I did not kick it.. why should I get into the bad book of God for some silly little stray cat by kicking it? She came in my way and I stumbled on her”

“Stumbling on cats does not make them fly, kicking will”

“I said I did not kick her.. that is it”

For some reason my sister was not saying anything and that irritated me a lot. She usually avoided arguing with grandmother and our dad. I could not help it.

My aunt rushed out to see what was happening and asked me why I was crying.

All the while Julie was sitting aside licking herself calmly.

Somehow between sobs I blurted out “This cruel old woman kicked my cat and it came flying out”

“Is that the way to talk about your grandmother?”

“May be not but let us talk about that later. Why should someone kick poor Julie?”

My aunt was confused and irritated for some reason.. but she managed to ask my grandmother ‘why did she kick the poor kitty’.

“That devil of the cat is always running between my legs and trying to kill me, I actually stumbled on it. I swear on Allah!”

“That is it. She swears and we cannot say anything more”.

“Swearing will not take away Julie’s pain”.

“Fari!… will you please SHUT UP now? When someone swears on Allah it means what they are saying is true. If not Allah will punish them. We are not to dispute this because Allah knows all”.

I was in utter confusion here because I had seen Julie fly .. and there had to be a kick behind it as she had no wings.. but here aunty was arguing that swearing on Allah meant that there was no kick. My eyes were lying. My aunt loved me and usually stood by me in most of the situations. So this was very irritating and also was irritating was the fact of my sister’s silence. May be she was tensed about the math’s test the next day or may be she had not seen Julie.

I did not argue more but decided that I had something to prove. My mind started chugging away like train engine.. chuk chuk chuk chuk.. and then flashed an idea.

I slowly slipped into a room where few things were kept on the mirror. I broke a nail polish bottle, wiped the mess with my grandma’s blouse, sprinkled face powder in all four corners of the room, made mess on the wall with my pencil and sat to do my homework . I felt Julie had been avenged and she slipped quietly near my feet and went to sleep proving me right.

I almost forgot about my avenging event by working math when shrieks and squeals made me realize the war had begun.. there they were blowing horns and inviting my army (only little me on one side all of them on the other) to fight.

Someone shouted “Fari! Why did you do this mess here?”

“I did not do anything”

“You are a liar”

“May be yes, but so are many of you”

“We want to know why you did this.”

“I did not do it and I swear on Allah that I did not do it”.

There was utter silence and shock on everyone’s face. It was like the world had stopped and stood still. Then all the muttering of Taubah Taubah started and they started to plead with God to forgive this devil child because she did not know what she was doing.

“What?” I said finally because it looked me this thing is never going to end.

“You stupid girl! How dare you swear on Allah just like that and that too on a lie? Don’t you know how fierce is the fire in hell?”

“Now you are not trusting Allah because you are not believing when I am swearing on him. That will make you accompany me to hell”

“How can we trust you when we can see what you have done here? Nobody came here and no one is insane to do this”.

“So when you see something and you are sure, you can question the swearing on Allah but I cannot?”

It was at this time in argument that my dad walked in. My grandmother gave a dramatic explanation of everything and finally it was the matter of me swearing falsely in the name of Allah which was presented in fluorescent words.

“This girl needs to learn right from wrong and there is no more room for explanation. She needs to be punished”. Said my dad…

So when my mother fretted (she never wanted any of the child physically punished) all watched when a nylon wire was brought, twisted and used as a whip to lash my legs. Yeah! Only legs. Meanwhile I was asked to say sorry to God and promise to never insult him in such way. I did not. I was hurting very badly and my skin had given way one or two places making it bleed a bit. But no! I had decided not to give in and it was Dad who gave up after 6-7 lashes. My grandmother smirked and unfortunately I saw that. I could not forgive her easily for that. My aunt wept and tried to pacify me but she could not even make any eye contact with me. I was not going to look at anyone of them. I was wild, angry and felt I have been wronged. For many days to come I was quite most of the time and just gave angry stares at my family when they tried to talk to me. I did not ask for food and my mother had to remember to feed me something. I stopped allowing her to comb my hair, help me have bath etc. I created my own island in the house and started living on that island and meanwhile unknown to anyone, unheard by anyone.. secretly I had decided that God was my enemy like my grandmother.

[A note to new readers.. - My blog posts under the label autobiography is true incidents from my childhood which had made huge impact on my own personality. My blog posts are a part of my journey into my troubled past. By allowing the child (me in my younger days) who suffered because she did not have anyone to share her confusions with or to  tell whatever she wants to. I am allowing my younger self to go through catharsis so that my present will be free from the past. This particular incident changed the way I look at belief and faith in God forever... 

Throwing some light on the name Farila….

This post has been update and posted HERE

Happy Valentines day to those who celebrate..

Prevention is better than cure