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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Choosen ONE....

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The picture reminds me of the boxers shaking hands before actual action starts.. LOL

From today I am starting few blog posts under the category .. Marriages are made in heaven. That is what my Mom told me. I will share some serious events, few funny events and jokes of my married life with you along with my big cultural shock within India which was greater than the one I had when I went to USA. Not everything was funny.. and when I look back on this important event I realize how different I was back then. This is going to be an open invitation for all of you to join the party.

Many say marriages are made in heaven….. some have added they are suffered on earth. I am not sure how the heavens are connected to this event but my Mom knew for sure. She knew right from the day I was 11 days old or so she said, that I should be marrying a certain boy who was running tiny errands for her then, when I grew up. She knew exactly he was the Mr. Right for me and we would be a successful pair. All the years I grew up she had visions, dreams, messages from supernatural etc telling her exactly this was right choice she had made. Not once did she waver from this decision
As for me, the boy she choose was not bad, liked him but knew we had a grand canyon of difference between us and could not believe that opposites attract and love each other.
I discussed this with the husband to be back then and he reported every word to my mother. I was supposed to learn something there but somehow it went right above my head. A court was held and my sister and Mother decided that I had gravely wronged the dear husband to be guy by telling him all the differences we had between us. I am still confused about this … but by then I had lost my brattiness that I had as a child and so listened to them. Actually I grew up thinking I have wronged my mother a lot, have been cause of her misery etc and decided I am going to make her happy. So as a teen I was not the brat I was as a kid and almost obeyed my mother on most of the things. Did my grandmother finally win the war?
My mother kept telling me that I would give her a massive heart attack someday when as a kid I kept throwing tantrums after tantrums. One day doctors said her heart was weak and she should avoid stress. I may have gone through the guilt of feeliing may be I have contributed a great deal to it and so changed into a good obedient daughter gradually after that. The change was slow so that it would not give my mommy a real massive heart attack.. which a sudden one was sure to give. One fine day I was hovering around my mother being very lovey dovey and I did something very stupid for no reason. I asked my mom lovingly what I can do to please her. She made me promise her first before placing her wish … give up your desire to study astrophysics and marry the person I choose for you. Now I was thinking on terms of cooking something she liked, or doing a tough errand etc and never thought of such a big deal. Oh no!!!! I tried to back off but tears and all the emotional black mailing started after that. Unknowingly I had triggered something that would change my whole life.

62 comments:

  1. Oh wow...the guilt...don't we all grow up with that thing...

    I don't believe marriages are made in heaven...mine is a very happy one but for that I give hubs and myself the credit...we worked hard to be happy together.

    We too are quite different in nature...our love, respect and trust binds us together...

    A lovely post Farila...waiting to read more on your perspective...

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was a lovely one... and you had a lovely Mom too.

    Life is strange at times :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. lovely one..with masala,drama,sensibility all tied up all together..!!!

    PS- i have tagged u twice so please do the honours..!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the way u so genuinely write your blogs... it relates to every1 in some or the other way..

    m eager to learn more about this story nw :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Our cultures and upbringing mold our ways of thinking. What seems unusual and unthinkable in one society is the norm in another. Culture shock, as you say. It sounds like you had a mind of your own, but a heart of compassion.

    ReplyDelete
  6. society has been trained to accept the normal and damn the abnormal... only this can bring harmony and workableness...otherwise society would be chaotic.
    but do all of us fit into the middle path?...No...and society has methods by which it makes these rebels comply...family...tradition ...opinions...criticism...honour...shame...means to control the wayward... in the same vein... praise and prize to please the conformist.
    it happens in the animal world too!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. marriages are really made in heaven....but we have to make them work or else .. your mom asked you to stop studying astrophysics at tht time but did you try to continue with that dream of yours after marriage...?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think marriages can be made in heaven but then, some are not. Sometimes, you think that the person is the ONE and he or she isn't yet, you keep on pushing. Before long, you're unhappy by the choices that have been made.

    I'm anxious to hear the rest!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think the most important aspect of every relationship is understanding...but more often than not and especially in India...the woman is made to sacrifice much more than a man.

    Well, might sound strange coming from a guy but it's true and Iv seen it myself, thankfully not in my family but some close ones and etc etc and that's exactly why I have the highest regard for women.
    They are made to give up everything for marriage which is actually ridiculous.

    Waiting for the next part of your story!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow...on a totally different track..your daughter looks like a little miniature version of you..:) the same expression she has in the photo you have put up of hers as in your wedding picture...I really like the comfort your writing gives me..and I'm sure your family calls you a superwoman too..:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Farida..
    To be frank.. i'm bit new to the blogosphere... that too this is the first time I am exploring the world beyond my blog... got you through Indivine where u promoted some of my blog.. when I checked your blogs.. I found this tagline... and hope you saw a similar one in my blog too!!! - http://ranjusanju.blogspot.com/2010/02/marriages-are-made-in-heaven.html
    that was interesting and I made a visit here..!!! wow how did i miss your blog all these days... Will check this space regularly!! Keep writing.. loved your style! Will surely support for your Youngistan Contest!

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  12. oh.. missed to mention.. Looking sooo pretty in this pic...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow your daughter looks so much like you. Amazing post, loved every bit of it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Love how you bring out the humor in seemingly serious things..
    Pretty pic.. Your daughter resembles you :)

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