Sunday, October 2, 2016

Being a Mom - Reposting

One of the hundreds of loving moments which makes life worth living...
 When I was thoroughly enjoying Sidney Sheldon’s ‘Tell Me Your Dreams’, I was intrigued by the multiple personalities of Ashley Paterson. It was unbelievable that a person could have a diverse personality inside their psyche, that was until my own alternate personality took over me. My alternate personality was called ‘Maa’ and it was completely opposite of what I was. The advantage I had over Ashley was that, I was aware of both the sides of these personalities and could interact with them. I am spared the mystery at least! Whew.

Little Rayyan
Life was simple and boring until 20th August 1991. At 7.18 a.m. on that day, the most wonderful moment of my life took place. I gave birth to a child and I was born again. That is a contradictory sentence, but that is how life has been ever since. When I say, ‘I was born’, that is the beginning of my alter personality which started taking over me and changing me into a Maa. Days have passed by, and finally, ‘Maa’ rules my life now.

I was a trouble maker as a child, but, as I grew up, I sobered down. Though I had those temper tantrums, crying bouts and other teen related symptoms; for most of my teen years I was quite, scared and withdrawn young girl. I was afraid of the world. Loud sounds, fights, dogs, cows, men, and eve teasers everything scared me in my teens. I do not understand when and why the transition happened, but somewhere during my adolescent time it took place slowly and unnoticed by me. On the other hand, that could be one of the other alter egos taking over me, or just simple growing up process. Whatever, I damn sure that I was not the same person in my teens, as I am now nor the one I was in my childhood.  The present myself can relate well to the childhood myself, but in no way can it see eye to eye with my teen self; which was hollow, pretentious, always trying to please others, and nervous.

Look at the child, not the walls.. :)
Relationships often have responsibilities attached which take away a part of you or change you into something else. Being a daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, student or wife had that kind of effect of on me.
The best part about having kids is they did not take away what is there in me and change me into a Maa. They have brought the real me out and made me what I was really meant to be in the first place. They haven’t driven me nuts – but made me think wisely. They have not made me weak and nervous but made me strong and brave.  They have given me the enthusiasm to fight for my life and live in their happy world, enjoying their company. I can proudly say ‘I am at my best when I am being a Maa’.

 I am indebted to my children for returning my own self back to me.  I would like to share a small poem here which many years ago Rayyan (7 yrs) walked up to me and rendered spontaneously.  I treasure it one of the best award I ever received. It was said in much simpler words in mixed up language.  I wrote it down and kept it in my own words.

God gave me a Maa.

God has given me legs to walk
A boneless tongue to talk
A short nose to poke about
A big mouth to eat and shout
A cheek to receive lovely kiss
Friends to help me in crisis
Wonderful teachers to teach
A father to discipline me and preach
A heart to warn me when dangers lurk
Two tiny hands to do my work
Above all God gave me a Mommy
Who can do everything for me!
She talks for me when my words fail
She pokes about when I lose trail
She shouts on my behalf when I have sore throat
She plays with me when my friends tire out
She teaches me what my teachers can’t
She preaches me when my father won’t
She is in my heart to make it strong
She is like music and a beautiful song
I love my Maa.

Off course I love that dear boy who is grown up and fast turning into a wonderful animator now..
Fun time with kids
The kid summed it all very well. I changed back into behaving and being a kid after I became a Maa. Gone were the days I spent, brooding over lost opportunities, lazing around, being grounded for no apparent reason or watching boring movies. It was time again for long walks, activities, music, creativity and fun. I took up painting once again and it was one of the activities we all enjoyed thoroughly as a group of expert painters. Occasionally, Farheena would get carried away and her art spread on the floor and climbed up the walls. She wouldn’t stop until sleep took over her genius creations.
Farheena continuing the art work in her sleep...
She was unstoppable..
I allowed one messy room for my children to enjoy themselves. The walls could be painted and floor could be tainted there, but nowhere else in the house. To this day, my children have followed the rule. They do not trespass their territories ever. There was a time when I was confused about making decisions. Children were precious and I could not take chances. Though I had instincts telling me what was right and what was wrong, I decided to seek expert advice from people who knew about children. Starting with a book ‘Bringing Up Baby’, I intently studied a lot and listened to people who mattered on parenting. Finally what precious gift I got out from all my effort was my ability to be patient, ability to accept the truth gracefully, ability to persevere and ability to love unconditionally.

I am indebted to my children for returning my own self back to me.  Few Memorable moments I have enjoyed with my loving children. 
Having fun with costumes
Another childish behavior of Maa LOL
Annie enjoying Farheena's birthday cake
Annie wears flowers in her hair for the first time.
The beach dramas...
Rayyan being extremely excited about his paper  hat
Picnics are more fun with children
                                              Cooking is fun when you cook for your kids. Their smile pays  with happiness


  1. very sweet post Farida....I really enjoy reading your lovely words......thanks for sharing such a beautiful moments of your life

    1. Thanks for your words Seema. Writing is my hobby, having people like you reading them is a pleasure.

  2. wow soo sweet and and yes MAMA is the best ..I love My Maa to more than anyone..C is my superman, c does everything for me..we r really lucky that god made Mothers :)

    plz do read my poetry:

  3. the poem is Beautiful Farida Ji... absolutely amazing. and LOL over the painting on the walls. main bhi aisa karti thi kya? mummy se hi poochna padega :P and you are such a sport!!! kudos for that!! :)

    1. Mujhe bi batana ke tumari mummy ne kya kaha... I am still a kid at heart. Having trouble growing up LOL

  4. Love you Farida and love your wonderfully large and loving heart. Stay gold :)

  5. your poem is so lovely, dear farida. thanks for your great insight.

    wishing a great day!


    p.s. i visited a blog today and was socked to the loving memory of emily... i knew i had to check in only to find out that "alice in wonderland" blog has been deleted. please email me and tell me it's not true.

    1. I am not sure what to say Betty. I will write a mail to you about this.

  6. Awww... this is sweetness personified. Last shot is so adorable...Being Mom Rocks!!!

    1. Farheena would fall asleep writing and playing so often.. she hated to stop. ;)

  7. Wonderful poem recited by Rayyan . Nice on your part to make note this wonderful piece ..... Moms are special for all kids .

    1. and so are kids special to all moms. Thanks for loving the poem.

  8. beautifully said .. mom's rock for sure ..

    loved the poem and the picutres are beautiful :)


  9. Such a lovely and touching post. :) And the poem by Rayyan.. was so sweet and adorable. :) Loved reading your memoirs and moments. It was such a pleasure reading. :)

  10. It was an amazing post.. Admired it... Thank You...

  11. I haven't read many of your posts, infact I have hardly read your posts. I was hesitant, reasons don't matter.

    Your determination, your focus on your children and the will to survive is what overwhelms me. I think of myself as a strong woman, but when I read you, I feel too tiny and that feeling is not comforting. But, I think there is always something that I can learn.

    ~ Chintan

    1. You have been a blogger I admire quite a lot Chintan.. appreciation coming from you means a lot to me

  12. Hi, Farida! Very nice blog. Enjoyed reading your blog and liked the poem very much. We are glad to have your entry... Wish you all the best for the contest
    - Team imlee

  13. Sentiments beautifully expressed, Farida.

  14. There was a time when I was confused about making decisions. Carlmont I allowed one messy room for my children to enjoy themselves.

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  16. Hi Farida,

    I just came across your blog after reading Swapna's top 15 versatile bloggers, and I must say, you are a very strong and kind-hearted woman. Really love the poem by Rayyan, it is so touching!


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