Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Are You Being Watched?

I never feel that somebody's watching me .. but Someone Does!
Remember the movie “Enemy of the state”? It left a bad taste in my mouth, where a person may not know he/she is being watched, but their every activity is noted and recorded. 
Never imagined this would happen to me. Me and my assumptions, Sigh!
I am being watched by not high technology military surveillance, NO. I am not that important; neither in positive or negative way. It is my daughter, my own child, who watches me, listens to me and brings up the topic when I least want to hear about it.
I may hear a woman shouting at the kid and say, “How can a mom shout at her kid like that as though she is not her own?” in a kind of disgusting mumbling to myself way and forget all about it; until, my daughter does something to prick my anger. Even before I can get two words out of my mouth, she asks me whether she is my own kid or not, because I have already said moms do not shout at their own kids. Her language is not clear like the sentence I have written there, child is a poo in her language and the sentence comes in short, due to missing tough words. It gives the whole drama a touch of innocence and I have to let her go, what else could I do? I have dug my own pit hole to fall into.
There have been various such pits I have dug and fallen into so often.  Though with special needs, Farheena is a smart girl and knows which situation can be taken advantage of. She has the elephantine memory to recall events which had happened years ago. She remembers what I had to tell about a certain situation, what promises I have made, etc  in an unlimited data storage space, which has fast access whenever she needs it.  whew!
She demands equal time of uninterrupted talk time from me, as much as I talk to Rayyan over the phone without being interruptedon the phone. “You cannot treat me different just because I am with you” is her point of argument.  
Recently she had a haircut because her aunt (my sister) said so. I know she loves long hair, I too love her hair. It was not cut very short but the style in the front looked horrible. I am not even going to post pictures of it until it grows a bit more. I couldn't stop grumbling at her for having her hair cut to please her aunt, any way I was grumpy with my surgery which made it easy being grumpy Mom. Finally after a while, she said it is enough, I don't want to hear about my hair. If you loved your kid she would look cute to you in any hair style. That shut me up. :(
 Blue smiley - Click image to download.

Yesterday, I was talking to my sister in law about the fall my very loving nephew Shuraim had. He was playing out late and she was very upset with him. She was waiting with a stick in her hand, and it was then that he walked in bleeding profusely from a fall. So off she had to rush to the doctor with him. I told her it was Gods way of reminding us that kids are precious and we should not hurt them. It is your own idea of punishing the child which may have led to this..  that wasn’t serious. We were pulling each other’s leg over this for some time. My daughter was busy on facebook, whew! After two hours she comes up with an idea, that if she does something wrong, I should only think of punishing her and not actually punish her. If God feels she is wrong, than he will punish her and if nothing happens like she doesn't has a fall or something, than it is my mistake and she should be forgiven. "When did I say that?" I asked perplexed.   "You said that to aunt just a while ago on phone". I am very sure that I did not say thatit wasn't me. But she is standing firm on that argument. That was confusing and I don’t know yet what I have got myself into in a way of chiding my sister in law in a funny way. Patience is what I need now to see the outcome of what I have said..  Why do I forget I am being watched? at wits' end
2_lovers.gif - (9K)


Rayyan Lost in Laptop

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