Thursday, February 4, 2010

Who can choose death????

While it is not necessarily our lot in this is age that we should suffer physically to the end of our endurance, it is still our lot that we should so suffer emotionally. The denial of this fact of life is the central defect of the age Dr. Scott Peck

The discussion on euthanasia has heated up and I have observed that the people included in the discussion are those who are under terrible pain and disability. The question is whether they are entitled to choose the time and condition of their death
I have a question (or call it confusion). Should not the people who are suffering emotionally (which at times can be worse than the worst physical pain) be included in the debate? If the person who cannot go through the physical torture can opt to get rid of it by means of euthanasia then why can’t a person who is not capable of dealing with emotional pain opt for it? Why should a person live if it is but to suffer and suffer more and more pain????

I would like to have an opinion on this matter. This doesn’t mean that I feel that anybody who is suffering should be put to death or choose to die. I think exactly in opposite direction. Death is final and nothing can change it once it takes place. The decision cannot be changed when we think it over and feel we are wrong. Once we start thinking that certain person is good dead than the line will start shifting… so I respect life.

I want to know how people feel towards this issue
If a person walks up to you and says, “I am feeling totally dejected and depressed. I know how severe emotional pain can be and I am terrified of it. It has made me numb to all positive feelings and happiness. My life is meaningless, dull and full of crap. I have nothing with me, no love, no affection, no beauty, no money, no kids… nothing. I have nothing to live for. Why do I have to suffer like this? Can I end this all by giving up living?” How will you answer this person? I am glad that you had patience to go through this now I will be grateful if you leave your opinion here for me… Thank you in advance.


  1. Hello Farida,

    This is a very interesting topic, and one I'm sure that will elicit a variety of opinions. Including mine.

    I have never been to the point of physical or emotional despair such that I would consider ending my life. So then, how can I give an opinion on it? Is it fair of me to say that no one, regardless of their condition, should ever consider, or be permitted, to end their life? Is it right for someone not facing this dilemma to tell another who is that they have no choice in the matter? Or on the other hand, should only people who have been in such a state of physical or emotional despair be allowed to have that opinion and make that decision? Very interesting, yes?

    However, and with all that being said, I do have an opinion. And yes, it is just that, an opinion, and does not mean that I am right or wrong. I don't believe in ending your life because of a physical or emotional issue. No matter how bad or chronic it is. I believe that there is ALWAYS a solution. Maybe not to correct the problem 100%, but to at least improve it and make it tolerable. I think that for physical pain, no matter how bad, there is a medical or non-medical answer that can at least make it somewhat better and tolerable. How many times have we heard of "miracles", or the improvement or complete correction of a condition for which medical science has no explanation. And as for mental and emotional pain, again I think there is always a remedy. The person suffering is in such despair that they might not see an obvious solution. I have personally dealt with people who were in such despair, "at the end of their rope" so-to-speak, and they actually believed that there was nothing that would work for them. Many years later they are productive and happy people.

    So yes, I believe......right or wrong.......that there is ALWAYS and answer. It just has to be found.

    Life is worth living.

  2. Very interesting topic, in fact I was just thinking about this subject yesterday.
    Today I feel so low. I am depressed and tired, and quite frankly, totally fed-up with one person who constantly mails me, especially when I say that I am just going to do something.
    Yes, today I feel depressed, but that doesn't mean that I should be "put to sleep" just means that I am tired and need some proper sleep.
    I'm healthy and fit, I don't need anything, so I am lucky.
    Personally, I think that people who commit suicide, either on their own or with help, are just afraid of the way that they feel. I agree with all that Matty said.
    Why cause all this unnecessary pain to the rest of their family?
    A pretty selfish act I think, to think more about yourself than others.
    People suffer things gladly, just to be alive!

  3. I have seen people in such physical pain that I almost want to wish they'd die...but I never can. I believe in God, and I pray that God will handle it.
    In this world filled with pain and destruction, I know many do not believe that God exists because not everything has a fix or a solution in the way that we can humanly understand.
    I have not been tested with a great physical or emotional challenge and I hope and pray I never will.
    But others have been tested.
    I don't have an answer, but I do feel that every life has value...even the evil person is an example of how NOT to be.

  4. hi farila..excellent topic you have chosen here...! without giving any personal examples...i would just say...if one really wants to die..or is in such immense pain..then death will come without a notice.
    the person wont get a chance to take opinions or to-rethink.
    and if he opts for any of it..i mean taking suggestions and all...i bet you life is gonna find someway for the person. the thing is it the way out to the pain would be somewhere hidden inside that little corner of the heart...but it can't be realised at the moment.
    and if someone like this comes up to me to question...i would just say...ask you really wanna give it away...for something you never even had an idea of?..
    and then as i will find a way out..
    your job would be done just then and there.

  5. Good topic but I too believe that there is a way out of what seems like no way. If a person is emotionally in pain, killing themselves is not a sure fix solution. Sure, he or she may not exist anymore but what does it do to family and friends? It is a selfish act that those family and friends will never completely heal from because they will live their lives saying, "If only he/she had let me know....."

    Like Anita, I believe that God uses circumstances to make us stronger and not to look for death as a way out. Look at Job in the Bible. He very well was suffering but suicide wasn't an option.

    I will be checking back to see other responses. This is a good topic.

  6. I think suicide is such a tragic thing. It makes me sad to think the world would drive someone to that state.

    But it is a cruel world. And it's too hard for some people to handle it.

    Talk of suicide prevention often annoys me.... Why don't we help people BEFORE they get to that point?

    I don't think people attempt suicide because one thing has gone wrong in their life. I think they do it because they feel MANY things have gone wrong in their life, and they have no where to turn.

    There have been difficult times in my life where I reached out for understanding and compassion, and received very little. I'm sure I'm not the only person that has these feelings of cold rejection. And if someone is in a more fragile state, they might decide it's best to just give up.

    Human beings have a great talent at making other people feel like dirt.

    And yeah. There are people who are full of love and goodness. But let's say they happen to be busy when you need them...or they don't understand how desperate you are for someone to be at your side. Or they might just not know how troubled you are.

  7. I want to respond to what Chocolate Covered DayDream said:

    I agree that there are cases where, if someone knew what was troubling their loved one, they would have been able to help. I read a horribly sad novel with that happening recently.

    But I think many cases, the troubled person DOES reach out. They tell people their problems and they hear:

    "Oh, you're being so silly. It's not that bad!"

    "Maybe you should stop being so self-centered and think of people who have it much worse than you."

    "You'll get over it soon enough."

    "If you think that's bad....."

    "Stop being such a drama queen!"

    I have had times where I told people my problems, and instead of giving me comfort, they made me feel much worse.

    But the usual thing that happens when I need someone to comfort me is that I'm simply ignored or not noticed.

    I hate that feeling. And I hate seeing other people ignored that way. So I TRY to respond when seeing people reaching out. I'm sure there are times that I fail though. I hope it's not too many times. And I hope I don't ever fail someone who is on the brink of suicide.

  8. I think a lot has to deal with what your spiritual beliefs are.My best friend works in a cancer ward as a stem cell transplant nurse. 80% of patients never leave. Their deaths are often slow, painful and cruel emotionally. I do not know what quality of life they have. I can not say what I would do. I almost died when I was pregnant with my beautiful baby boy and I was scared for him, not for me. I just think really it is not only circumstantial but a question of spirituality. What a wonderful post!

  9. That is a hard question and one that I really don't have an answer to. I would choose life..that's just me.

  10. If I took a faith pov, it would be that seems to be a rather selfish view. Meaning in life is not just about having money or family even, you could be a loner and yet meaning can be found through so many other means by our action - sacrificing one's time for others, living for other, doing it for love of your neighbour(the poor the elderly etc) and therein lies the ultimate purpose of how you account your life.

    But of course that would not be what I would say to this person. But that would be the general direction to point him to. Death is never the answer if pain can be healed and dissolved. If you still have life there is still a purpose for your existence I believe.

    Often persons who are depressed and emotionally defeated have merely sunk so deep within themselves that they are not able to see an alternative to living a fulfilling existence. Not everyone alive and happy is wealthy, have kids or a wife or family. Often these roles just fall in place to give our life meaning and we don't realise there are other roles that many work towards to add worth to their existence.

    This person might not have considered looking outwards, to the needs of others. Perhaps the active doing of reaching out( to those who have less than him) will make this person realise there are reasons why his life should continue and why he will be able to find meaning again.

    Every life is precious until it is the right time to give it back to God.


  11. I have given very much thought to this subject over the years. It always a sad thing to hear that someone has taken their life. I have always heard it said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But we can never truly know the burden another is carrying and how it may effect their entire being.

    But having said that, I would certainly try to help someone that I know was contemplating ending their life. I would try my best to
    help them consider other solutions to help lessen their burdens.

    In the end, I know I could not substitue my judgment for anothers. But ultimately if someone thought suicide was their only solution or even their solution of choice, who I am to say that I know better than them what is right for them.

    I believe suicide is a very personal choice made for a lot of different reasons. I know it must be a very hard choice. I can't imagine the kind of sorrow that would lead someone down a path of no return but it must be beyond measure.

  12. That is a very tough and hard question to be answered.
    I believe suicide is a personal choice but I do believe that who decides to do so, maybe ,he/she 's not mentally well.
    Only if there's too much pain i find this to be logical. But yet there are many solutions for reducing the pain.It's a great topic, and needs too much cosideration.
    Betty xx

  13. Life is not only about tasting the flavor of happiness. The real challenge lies in facing the pain and coming out. . Life is full of ups and downs. You will pass this pain or atleast time will cure your pain.

    I have written a short story about Suicide.


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