Sunday, April 7, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Tantra - Art of Ancient Magic Revived
The heroine of the book is leather clad Anu Agarwal from
NYC, who lands in Delhi, with serious business to deal with the vampires. She
soon has to change into our own beloved Salwar suits. Is she inspired by Buffy –
the vampire slayer? Trained to be a guardian, she gets into shifts which
dramatically increase her mental and physical strength, as well as her
senses. She can heal herself, has great
endurance, and is quick, agile with great intuition. Everything is so much
similar to Buffy but do not make any conclusions, as the story and the heroine do
not imitate anyone.
What makes our Indian heroine stand out from all the other
vampire hunters is that like any other girl who doesn’t hunt vampires, she gets
poked about her marriage by her aunt. She has escaped the clutches of her
parents saying she is Lesbian.. Hmmmm. She
is created to be stronger than her male counterparts and expert in her field,
who fearlessly roams the roads (at times roofs) of Delhi seeking vengeance for
her lover who was killed. Somebody tell
me this happened before the Nirbhaya incident, if not I will have
difficulty believing the story. What I
loved about the character is that she is a person with normal sensual desires
and dreams. I love the way she responds to situations like any like true woman
would do. There are demons outside roaming the streets and then there are
demons inside her, both of which she needs to slay to save the world.
Tantra has everything sewn into its fictional plot; the
vampire stories of west, magical quests, greed for super power, Guru’s with
extreme dangerous knowledge enough to destroy the world, deaths, murders, kidnapping
and sacrifices of small children and great deal of Indian mythological powers
too. The vampires like count Dracula are nothing when compared to the ancient dark
magic, extracted from dept of hell, with immense power which could be dangerous
if used by a wrong person. Tantra is not just about silver bullets, stakes and
garlic, bust more about the power of mind which can exceed power of any weapon
invented by man. Adi has a done a good job of exploring the now forgotten power of the mind which was so extensively used by Indian Rishis in the past.
The characters have been sketched well and some of them like
Amit, easily win your heart at the beginning, though some like Dr. Sharma waits
till the end. Chandra is a mysterious character who is supposed to be a villain, but somehow you start to adore him too.
Aunty and Smiti are the characters that make the story appear light, while
giving it a funny edge. The dialogues are witty and catchy, though some of the
mystical things they talk about are difficult to understand for a reader who
has not read about them earlier. I continued reading, with hope that everything
will be explained in the end, but some mysterious were left unexplained.
I call Tanta a fast paced, catchy, thriller which anyone can
enjoy reading if they do not give too serious thoughts to the happening and do
not ask too many questions. It gives an Indian twist to the westernized vampire
stories, bringing in the dark magic, Tantra, ang- astra, philosophies, mystic
powers, and lot of supernatural happening related to Indian mythologies. If you
can enjoy Van Helsing, Dracula and Twilight, you sure can enjoy Tantra.
Author : Adi
Pages : 335
Chapters : 29
Price : 195
Author Profile
Adi grew up reading fiction books by flashlight, hiding under the covers, pretending to be asleep. While it would certainly affect his academic life the next day, he did go on to get degrees from Stanford University and Harvard University, so it was not all that bad.
Somewhere along the line, a poetry book and a minor textbook were published. He wishes he could withdraw all copies of said poetry book from the market. At the time, it was poignant, but now it is just embarrassing.
He’s always given more credit for his successes in life to those late-night reading habits of years ago than to the high-school academics he trudged through, and he yearned to write one of those books himself.
Deeply impressed by the vast religious history of India, he could not help but pick this topic for his first novel.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Stop Child Abuse Now
Beware of Same Sex Abuse
Read more about Child Abuse here
For More Images Click on Link Below
Image 1
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
My Own Soldier Who Stood By Me through the Journey of My Life
Blogadda has asked us bloggers to write about a man who
stood up for a woman with courage and integrity. He became the soldier for her.
This takes me back in time and remind me of an incidence when a tiny soldier
once had asked me, ‘why children have to take the surname of their father and not
mother. Mothers do much more for children than father, even carrying them in
the tummy, feeding them, and caring for them until they become independent to
fend for themselves.’ The question from my son shocked me, because being a mom;
I had never given a thought to this matter. Neither had I thought of taking my
mom’s name but proudly went by with my father’s family name and then with that
of my husband. I had never felt grateful to my mom for carrying me in her
tummy, feeding me nor caring for me, because I assumed that is what mothers do.
I had taken this wonderful gift for granted until now.To get out of the sticky
situation, I said, ‘it is easy for boys to take name of their father, because
it goes well with their own male names’. Kids are smart and they always have
few counter questions ready to attack us. He had one too… ‘what about the
girls, why do they have the male names attached to theirs?’ I had lost the
argument in just three sentences. I conceded defeat and told him that I would
think about this later.
When people ask me who has been the strongest support in my
journey of life, I always have to say it is my son. Since a tender age he has
been there with me, lending his support whenever I needed it the most. Without
him, dealing with cancer, uncomfortable marriage, special needs child and other
tough situations of life was impossible for me. My brother, father or husband
can never do what he has done in empowering me, even though he is younger to me
by 24 years. With his tiny enlightening revelations about my importance and with
his ever constant encouragement, I started realizing my own potential at the
age of 38 years. A silly woman who had thrown away her education and
independence, slowly started picking it up once again.
A person who strictly follows non-violence in his life, he
has never flexed his muscles for any reason. He does not create any violent
situation in his life at all, as he peacefully solves all the issues around
him. People, who often think of heroes, imagine them to be those bodyguard
types who will bash up people who threaten their women. Are they the only heroes?
For me they are not, as they are ones who think women need protection and they are
the ones who can care for and protect them. The real hero is the person who can
give strength, respect and independence to women where they will not need a man
to rescue them. That is what my son has been to me until now.
He is not ashamed to do any household chores even when my
friends or teen girls are visiting our home. His friends, who made fun of him
initially, realized later that being a good helpful son is not a wrong thing or
something to be ashamed of. By helping me finish off the household chores
quickly, he allows me to spend time with my children watching some movie or
playing games.
In a village with
narrow minded people, he never voiced his views but silently went on helping me
manage my house work like any daughter would do. He set example there with his
actions.
His major contribution in my life has been his sharing responsibility
of bringing up my special needs daughter. He is the most caring and loving elder
brother a sister can have, moreover he is a proud brother who has made her a
part of life. When most brothers tell their sisters never to come in contact
with their friends, my son not only introduces her to his friends but sees to
it that she gets a bit of attention and respect from people around her, so that
she will never feel left out. Though I
have collected a lot of information from doctors, internet and counselors, the
best solution for my daughter’s problems comes from him. When I being a mother
struggle to understand what she is saying because of her limited vocabulary,
Rayyan does understand her so quickly.
My mother, sister and sister-in-law, all have received the
same respect from him. I have never seen him treat any girl with disrespect or
call her names no matter what she is wearing. He believes that every person has
their own choice of dress code, and they should be allowed to wear what they
are comfortable with.
He often reminds me to take some fun time for myself in a
day. The boy, who never pesters me for anything he wants, does that when he
sees me working too hard, urging me slow down and have some fun too. Whenever I
have to go out for some work, he takes excellent care of my daughter, treating
her like a princess. Without his support, I would never been a graduate,
freelance writer nor blogger. He has given me the insight into what I really am
and given me courage to stop pretending to be someone else just to please
people around me.
This is my hero and my soldier who has given me the power to
fight for my rights and be what I want to be. I am glad and proud to have him
in my life. You rock my son!
This post is a part of #Soldierforwomen in association with BlogAdda.com
Monday, March 25, 2013
Bangalore for Women with Special Needs
My winning entry from Bangalore For Women IndiBlogger Meet featured in The Times of India, Bangalore. (4th April 2013, Page 5). The response for this post overwhelmed me.
On 23rd March I planned on attending Indiblogger
and TOI’s Bloggers Meet which had an agenda Bangalore for Women. I knew this was serious event, so
thought of leaving behind Farheena and going there alone. Unfortunately, the
only care-taker I can trust for her, Rayyan, was not available due to the event
he had to attend in Arena Jayanagar. Farheena was eager to come over and watch
the bloggers who give her special attention; therefore I decided to tag her
along with me.
When walking out of home with my daughter who is 17 year old
young woman with special needs, I realized how difficult it is to manage a special
needs person, especially a girl or woman in a city like Bangalore. No one follows the rules of do's and don'ts in the city regarding people with special needs. The city is
built assuming all the citizens of Bangalore are healthy, strong and do not
need support. The steps do not have banisters, neither do we have public
toilets that a special needs person can use. The use of toilets is a common
problem, but we all know how conveniently men stain the compound walls to
relieve themselves. Women have to struggle a lot, and when you have mobility
problems the toilets situated in inaccessible corners, which are dangerous,
without facility for special people to use them are kind of cruel.
Getting on the public transport buses that ply on the city
roads can be horrible experience for women, but it is almost impossible for special
needs girl. Due to my ugly experiences, I have now given up traveling with my
daughter on public transport buses. I am forced to take autos even if I have to
skip a meal or something for affording it. When some perverts are taking
advantage of educated, independent, working women in public transport, can you
just imagine the plight of women with special needs?
Be it the railway station, bus stands, shopping malls or any
place in Bangalore, I have to struggle with my daughter to get from one point to
another. No one has twice as to how a person with mobility problem walk all that distance. There are unnecessary steps where there is no support for her to hold
on. I know this is of concern to any person with challenged mobility, but it
becomes worse for the girls because they get stared at. At times men try to
help, and it is a matter of concern how they help, and how they touch them. When
they hold my daughters hand or try to support her, I have to keep quite at
times, because I do not want to discourage people from coming forward to help
their fellow human beings. We already
have a great problem with that kind of attitude our citizens are famous for. But
sometimes when I feel my daughter is uncomfortable, I tell them I can manage
her on my own, thanks for the help.
When a girl needs help, why only men come forward and give
her support as the women watch on? Don’t they understand that a girl would be uncomfortable
being held and supported by a man? I wish women would be more responsible and
not just stare and go cluck cluck with their tongues and say “Ayyo Paapa” when
they see a special needs girl having trouble. Lending a hand and giving a bit
of support is not a big deal. More than Bangalore for women, we need more women
who will support women in public places not only when they need help or
support, but even when they are being harassed or teased. It is high time we need to see a change in the Sari clad woman who sees a girl in jeans being teased and says she invited it.
I have observed few more trends which is discriminating the
girl child with disabilities. Recently my daughter did not have her regular transport
to school. I had to drop her to school and pick her up in the evening. What I observed
was that many boys come to FAME India, in wheel chairs but I did not see any
girl in wheel chair coming to school.
This was disturbing fact for me, because I know that the
school itself does not discriminate between girl or boy students. Are there no
girls with disabilities which would need wheel chairs for them? Are parents
hesitating to take trouble and send girls on wheel chairs to school? What is
happening to the girls who are wheelchair bound?
I had seen one mother taking exceptional care of her son who
is totally dependent on her for everything. She shows a lot of love towards
him, much more than what she does towards her daughters. Being me and unable to
keep quiet, I asked her about the great love she had for her son whereas she
did not show the same affection towards her daughters. She had no doubt about what
she was doing as she quickly answered me, “Our son is going to save us from
hell and take us to heaven”. At first I thought she was making fun of me but
something in her tone told me she was serious. On seeing my surprised expression
she said, “You don’t know because you haven’t read Mahabharata. There is Shloka
that says
pumnamno narakadyastu trayate pitaram sutah
tasmat putra iti proktah svayameva
swayambhuva
which means a son of our own, by birth saves a father from
the hell called Put or Pu hence he is called Putra.
I asked her “can’t a daughter save you from hell?” At this
she laughed and said, “No way”.
In our society where people still opt for girl childinfanticide, what would happen to girls who are severely disabled? It is time
for Bangalore to wake up and conduct surveys to check out what is the condition
of its special needs women? When girls who are attending regular schools are
being abused in the safety of their homes, what is happening to the girls who
are not able to venture out of their homes independently?
Talking to few parents, what I have learned recently is very
shocking. Most of the girls with disability go through hysterectomy so that
they do not have to deal with their menstruation. The girl cannot say anything;
the government does not want to say anything about this. Is it fair on part of
doctors, parents and society to just remove an organ from the girl’s body so
that the situation is convenient for everyone? I have personally heard from a
mother that hysterectomy is necessary for her intellectually challenged daughter
because pregnancy could lead to social stigma. This is a shocking revelation
for me. Does that mean that the parents are already prepared for the abuse the
girl may go through?
Can Bangalore doctors take initiative to conduct survey
regarding hysterectomy being done of girls as young as 9-12?
Parents of the girl child with disabilities have to worry
about many more things than the parents of a boy have to do. As a parent of
special needs girl, life has been a journey of constant fear for her safety
which has been forcefully induced into me by society. The reports about rapes,
abduction and subtle molestation make me so much more alert about my daughter. Sometimes
it looks like she has become a part of me because I am scared to leave her
alone anywhere. The fear stems not from her childlike innocence but more from
her physical vulnerability. We need a society that will make us feel secure
that its citizens are not going to take advantage of this vulnerability oftheir fellow human beings.
The auto drivers who demand more than double the fare when
they see my daughter has mobility problem, the bus drivers who say take private
transport we need to be at the destination on time, or women who turn away
without lending a hand to support, need to change. Is this possible and whether
this will ever happen is another issue we need to address.
The Baby Steps towards Much Needed Change
I was very excited about the coming together of the Times of
India and IndiBlogger to discuss issues affecting women. The event which was
open to both men and women, was a part of The Times of India’s Bangalore for
Women initiative which highlights the city’s duty towards its female citizens.
A duty that the city has been repeatedly ignoring.
The event promised a lot, and I went there with lot of hopes
and enthusiasm. The room was a bit small for 100 bloggers and I was kind of
scared that I may get thrown out when there would lack of place to fit in all.
I met my fellow bloggers, and settled down comfortably in a seat to exchange
few words with friends.
The meet did not go about with the Indicry, or blogger
introductions. Anoop was up to point and
quick in introducing us to Mr. Franklin Joseph who is Women Self Defense
Specialist with combined experience of more than 14 years working, researching
and designing workshops for women. He has modeled his defense mechanisms after
getting in touch with women who underwent sexual abuse, women who faced
violence and women victims of crime. He has been conducting workshops for women
teaching them techniques of getting out safely from a sticky situation.
Some of the points he brought up were very useful with a new
perspective which many people tend to ignore. Here is a brief list of them though I may not
be able to portray his points accurately:
1)
A woman often ventures out when there is a male
escort, though she would be scared to do so when alone. He proved how this does
not change anything. A man becomes nervous and helpless when the woman he is
escorting is attacked.
2)
Carrying pepper powders and weapons is not the
answer. When abusers and attackers realize this is what women are carrying they
will find a defense for it, or maybe they turn more violent to subdue the women
from attacking back.
3)
The attitude, confidence and presence of mind
are the best defense mechanisms women can adopt.
Frankly, I did not have any trouble agreeing with Mr.
Franklin because I have always believed in this. My personal experience tells me the same. I
usually walk on the streets with a confidence that I can handle myself. I have not
been teased, abused or troubled by men on roads or in public places. But the
whole situation changed when I was in Byndoor. When I had to wear Burkha to
cover up myself and my attitude, the confidence lacking, men started teasing
me, passing lewd comments and in one instance taking advantage of the rush in
the public transport to touch my legs. Off course it was followed by me
stomping hard on his feet and hurting his toe badly which led to a verbal duel,
with mute spectators watching us like it was Rajkumar’s movie.
Once Franklin left, bloggers were allowed to voice their
concerns about safety of women in Bangalore. For some weird reason, Anoop asked
me start it off and then was at loss as to how to stop me. He will know better
the next time ;).
My concern was about the differentiation taking place among girls
with special needs. There were other bloggers who shared their own good or bad
experiences with Indibloggers openly. With more time to spare, it could have been
a good debate.
Amazingly none of the topics overlapped each other. Every blogger
present there, had their own set of concerns, which is something we all have
seen at one time or other.
From positive response of an auto driver who helped a lady
in distress, not even asking for fare from her to people who threw out a girl
from the rented house in middle of the night and that too for being the victim
of another tenants pervert behavior, there were different life experiences shared
by the bloggers.
In defense of men, a male blogger pointed out how he was
scolded by a woman when he tried to help her. I agree this happens too. With rising
crime, every man is being viewed as potential rapist or pervert by the women.
After some bloggers got to present their views, it was time
for lunch. After lunch there were 3 representatives from TOI including Mr.
Narayanan Krishnaswami, one of the editors, who told about recent initiative ‘Bangalore
for Women’ which has been moving ahead in full throttle. I read TOI on my Apple
iPad and somehow it is not visible there. If it was, I may have attended at
least of those workshops.
All the three TOI
representatives had just few minutes to spare to hear from nearly 100 bloggers
about their experience and what solutions do they expect for those problems. That
was kind of funny. The bloggers, creative and passionate as they are came up
with so many questions and solutions that the TOI team looked stumped. As usual
everyone had their own version of solutions to the problems people face in
Bangalore today. Some were good whereas some were like bollywood justice.
I had a message for TOI too. In the past few months, I have been
regularly reading about the young girls being abused by their fathers in the
once considered secure environment of their homes. Every time the report starts
with the same sentence, “In a very shocking incidence, a father was found
raping his ** year old minor daughter ………….”.
This is being reported on an everyday scale, and yet the report starts as same
shocking indicence. Somehow Mr.Narayanan got confused about what I was trying
to say and asked me whether I wanted them to write ‘ho hum.. another father
rapes his daughter’. I don’t think I would be that silly, my point is to keep
count of the incidences, create awareness, rather than just reporting it as a shocking
incident. Let the society know that this
is happening so often that it is not shocking anymore.
In my opinion, with the frequency it is happening, TOI
should not report it as a rare shocking incidence, but rather as “In the 28th
incidence coming to light in 2013 a father was found abusing his minor daughter….”
, so that the frequency of the incidences will be noticed by the concerned
people. Our society too needs a shock treatment, because they still believe
such things cannot happen in their midst.
A message for ‘Women and Child Development’ department can be added too.
Another initiative TOI can take is to find more information about
the report.
·
What led to child being abused by father?
·
Is this very common with step fathers?
·
What methods do these men use to silence these
girls from reporting it to others?
·
What is the role of the mother?
·
Why is the child not confiding in mother?
·
Is the
mother herself a mute spectator?
Journalists can probe
deeper into the cases and come up with some vital information which could
really help in stopping this heinous menace shaming our society. If there is a repeated pattern being followed,
it could be brought to the notice of the public and awareness created in the
victims. The meet ended abruptly with bloggers having so much more to say.
So now we are back to our comfort zones where we are going
to blog about how we can make Bangalore a better place for women. I am going to
write a post on the condition of girls with disability in Bangalore. I am not
sure about the results, but I think this will be the first step in the miles
and miles of journey which is required to bring about a change.
I am glad that the initiative has been taken by Indiblogger
and TOI which itself needs a loud applause, whether it turns out to be a great
success or not.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Two Pony Tails and One Tale with a Happy Ending…
Those were the days filled with fun, studies and games. Time just flew past me from morning till evening, without internet or TV. Hmmm
.....pick up that jaw which you have dropped down, because life without TV and
Internet can be fun too, or at least it was in my childhood.
I loved school and books. My mom used to have our hair cut
short and trimmed often, so that it would be easy for her to manage time in the
morning more than as a fashion statement. Without the shampoos to turn our
hairs silky, it was a great ordeal in the morning to comb and tie up our hair neatly. In addition, when left alone, the hair would turn coarse with lots of
split ends because we did not have the ‘Dove Split End Rescue System’ back
then.
Once I was in first standard, I decided I was grown up enough
to have plaits of my own. Somehow, I was cajoled, given a chocolate and taken
to the barber for trimming my hair. Half way through the hair cut I decided I
did not want short hair and started to wail at the top of my voice. The barber
snipped his hands, mumbled at first and then loudly growled at my aunt.
My aunt who had accompanied me as my sister refused, tried
to console me, and said in a soft voice somehow she could manage, “Beti, people
will make fun of you if you don’t cut your hair now. Have you seen anyone with
half trimmed hair?” I replied between
sobs, “I do not want short hair. Stick back the hair you have cut from my head
and make it look nice once again”. I started to wail louder now. Two people who
were waiting to get their hair cut left, another started pulling out his hair
vehemently. The barber looked around for some solution, and then started
peering at the knife he kept on the table.
My aunt promised me 5 big chocolates if I went ahead and had
my hair cut to which I succumbed once again. With mouth shut, but tears still
dripping I was given a hair cut which looked quite weird. When questioned by my
aunt, the barber gave her such a nasty look that she paid him and walked out
quietly.
Back home, they decided that they will allow me to grow
hair, horn or whatever I wanted on my head to avoid those loud screeching wails
in public places.
The drama I created in the barber shop had given me two
thick pony tails by the end of the second standard and memories to be treasured
forever due to an incident which happened later, which was directly connected
to my ponytails. My hair was so thick that it could not be plaited when it was
short. Two white ribbons adorned my head, and I loved them.
When I stood first in my second standard final exams, my
father presented me a wrist watch which was beautiful. After a few months of
watching over the watch at home I decided to wear it to school. I wasn't very
sure because I was still in third standard (Indian way of grading) and no one
sported watches that early. Some students in 6th or 7th std wore them but not
lower class students. Any way I went ahead and wore the watch as it was a gift for my
achievement and it made me proud.
What I did not know back then was that wrist watches were
worn on left hand, therefore I strapped it on my right hand and marched to
school, as two pony tails bounced happily on my head. The response was good.
All congratulated me and they said it was very pretty. No one could make out I
was wearing it on the wrong hand. Most of my classmates asked me for time and I
proudly told them what time it was. Life couldn't be better than this.
At break, I finished my lunch quickly and then sat at my
favorite spot reading a comic which I had brought along with me. After all the attention I got in the morning,
I wanted to be alone and quite for some time. It was when I was totally
immersed in the comic book pictures that this boy arrived haughtily on his
bicycle and asked me what the time was. I hesitated a while, why should I
answer him, but then replied “one seven”, at which point he burst out laughing.
I felt embarrassed that may be I did not read the time properly and looked
again at my watch. I knew I was right.
Then he said, “Silly girl, no one says
one seven one eight etc. they say one, one five, one ten and so on. And you are
wearing your watch on the wrong hand. Why don’t you learn to wear it properly
and also to read the time before showing it off?”
Then he said, “Silly girl, no one says
one seven one eight etc. they say one, one five, one ten and so on. And you are
wearing your watch on the wrong hand. Why don’t you learn to wear it properly
and also to read the time before showing it off?”He had provoked the terrible anger in me and now we both were in trouble for sure, because, whenever I was angry I landed in trouble and he had to be trouble because he was the source of it. I felt the heat burning my cheeks. I felt an urge to say something mean to him but couldn't find words to express my anger.
At last I blurted “If
you are that smart then make one of those many mothers you have to present you
a watch and stop asking me the time”.
I didn't knew what happened next because there was sudden
change in his expression … It was as though I had taken a knife and put it
through his heart. Before that, if someone told me people can physically change
colors I would not have believed them but he changed few hues and then looked so dark all of
sudden that I was scared. I put up the
bravest face I could manage and looked him straight avoiding only his eyes.
He slowly came over to me, caught hold of my precious pony
tail and pulled it so hard that I had shooting pain not only in my head but
also in my neck. I thought I must have lost the pony tail for which I had
fought so hard two years ago.
 |
| Image Courtesy The Animator |
I could not believe that someone could dare
to pull my precious hair. My teachers did not punish me nor did my parents for
silly things. No one ever had touched my hair since the barber incident; other
than my mother who combed it every morning. And here, someone just walked up
asking about time, making fun of me and
now was walking away after hurting me so bad. I wanted to pluck every single
strand of hair from his scalp, but I did not dare to touch him because he had
appeared very wild for a while. Even before this happened I was a bit afraid of
him, as he came to our school occasionally from nowhere. Our Physical Trainer
who was in charge of discipline during the lunch period was absent for that day
and I did know whom to approach.
At last I went to the office room of the school and sat
crying as I couldn't find anyone in there either. I involuntarily changed the
watch and strapped on my left hand. In a
short while the mother superior of the convent, Mother Claudia walked in.Oh No!
My heart skipped few beats. Everyone was afraid of her. She was the most stern
of all the staff. Short, a bit stout with white hair peeking out from the head
scarf, she sent a shiver down my spine and all of a sudden I wanted to forget
everything and go back.
Somehow there was no escape as she would ask me why I was in
office room, moreover, I just couldn't let the matter end like that. So I
became bold enough to talk to her, though it was the first time I was going to
talk to her. She approached me and looked at me and asked me what the matter
was that I was in the office room crying. Her voice was kind and soft which encouraged
me to talk. In between sobs I narrated the incident, making a slight change
that I had only asked him to buy a watch of his own when he suddenly attacked
me.
She had me seated near her and sent for him. Meanwhile she
told me that was a beautiful watch I was wearing. I told her it was a gift from
my dad for standing first. At this point she smiled and said she was very happy
with the way I had written my exams. I was surprised to know that she had seen
my papers and moreover remembered them. She said my papers were so good that my
teacher Mary had shown it to her and she was very amazed by the fact that there
were no mistakes at all.
Mother superior
started to open the ledger in front of her thinking it was the end of the
matter. I was aghast. I expected something more from her as she was known for
harsh punishment to erring students. I had already become bold and so went on
“mother he pulled my hair”. She looked up at me quizzically. I fumbled for
words but said something which sounded like
“I want you to pull his hair too, because he has hurt me and if by saying
sorry he can get away with it then he will do it again”. Mother was surprised
and amused to hear me talk like that. She said calmly, “I can’t pull his hair.
He has realized that he has made a mistake and he has sincerely apologized. You
can now go back to your class”.
“No I won’t go back to my class until he is punished. Even
before he pulled my hair I hated him, and now I want him punished”.
“Why? ” asked Mother Claudia, but even before the word was out of her mouth I had started off,“Because God has given him everything. It is not fair for someone to be perfect when others are not. He can play well, he is not afraid, and he is very beautiful. I hate his perfect face and feel like scratching it to make it look normal. I hate him. You all shower so much of love on him. He should be punished more………..” I just blurted everything out very fast and suddenly stopped fearing the outcome of this outburst and stood staring at the floor. To my astonishment I heard nothing. I looked up to find the mother smiling broadly at me and also the boy was smiling now. I got confused as to why it was so. Mother said slowly “if I pull your hair will you say something nice to me?” and she laughed openly now. The first time I had seen her laugh. She slowly pulled my hair and said “you sure have a way of praising people”. It was then that he walked to me bent his head and said “ OK. Here. Pull my hair as hard as you want”. I don’t know why I did not feel like pulling his hair. For one, he was a big boy and it appeared silly of me to pull his hair right then. I said “ OK, I will accept the sorry. I will go back to my class now. Thank you mother”. I was feeling uncomfortable and uneasy and wanted to bolt out of there as soon as possible, though I did not know what had happened.
So that is how it began. From then on whenever mother
superior was near me she would slightly tug my pony tail and give me a
questioning look, which said "What do you have to say about me?"
I did not say anything much that day, because I was confused
with so many different things happening within the short span of 23 minutes –
yeah I had checked the time on my new watch. By realizing that he was from an
orphanage connected to our school, took out my negative feelings for him and I
could now really appreciate his good qualities.
So that is how the tragic tale of my ponytails ended in a
happy ending…
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
I promote Girl Child Infanticide..Yes! You got it right!
Blog
about any social cause you are passionate about, and its potential solution as a part of blogging contest organized by iDiya. I read this on Indiblogger and said it is time to write about
issues regarding women, given that, being a woman blogger it is expected from
me. After pondering deeply over the women’s issues I want to write about, my
head is spinning now as I recall reading about the rising crime against women
in India.
Child rape has been on rise, the age drastically falling down to 3 or less. Child prostitution is on rise. Abuse and rapes of women on streets, even in the metros are becoming common. Another problem that is prevailing in India is the girl child infanticide, which survey tells is common even among educated people who know and can afford the procedure. Many of the NGO’s, government of India and doctors have joined their hands together to eradicate this social evil which is a shame for civilized society. I would have happily joined the force and promoted the cause, only if I had known how is this really going to benefit the girl child.
Are we really looking from a distance where we can see the whole picture clearly?
Child rape has been on rise, the age drastically falling down to 3 or less. Child prostitution is on rise. Abuse and rapes of women on streets, even in the metros are becoming common. Another problem that is prevailing in India is the girl child infanticide, which survey tells is common even among educated people who know and can afford the procedure. Many of the NGO’s, government of India and doctors have joined their hands together to eradicate this social evil which is a shame for civilized society. I would have happily joined the force and promoted the cause, only if I had known how is this really going to benefit the girl child.
Are we really looking from a distance where we can see the whole picture clearly?
Normally this is how it goes-
A woman is pregnant with a child, whose sex the couple and
their family do not know. In normal situation, in absence of any psychological
abnormality in the people, the woman would gestate for 9 months and give birth
to a baby who will be lovingly accepted and loved by everyone. In case of some severe psychological
abnormality present in the people, they would decide to have a male progeny and
only male progeny because of various reasons which are all baseless, which
again shows the immaturity of these people.
The dumb reasons -
1)
The male child will be the heir to their family
– Unfortunately the stupidity of this whole drama of waaris, or name carrier is that the boy cannot give birth to the child
which is going to continue their lineage. He will have to marry a girl who has
been brought into this world by people who are smarter than his own parents.
2)
The male child will remain with the parents and
take care of them- Really? Other than the legendary Shravana Kumara or some other
mythological being I have read about, I
have yet to see a male child who is dedicated to taking care of the parents, in
more sincere manner than a girl child would. Bite me if I am wrong. These dumb
people who are thinking in terms of being taken care of by their male child are
actually again dependent on the girl child whom he is going to marry. The
daughter in law is often given the responsibility of taking care of them, which
is if they are lucky. So often we hear news about how the son assaulted the
parents who refused to give money for drinks, how they are kicked out of their
homes for their properties, insulted and killed all for some trivial reasons.
Give me the ratio of such crimes committed by daughters if the other digit is
not zero.
3) Girl child should be married off and given hefty dowry for doing so- Is this really important? Are women all over the world paying men hefty money to marry them, be enslaved by them and treat them like dirt? Is this not the result of those dumb people who were allowed to give birth to girl child who bring her up by stripping her off her confidence, trust, respect, love and education? Give the daughter the same love, respect, care, education and encouragement you give to your sons and no one will dare ask dowry from this empowered woman. The people who are paying dowry are falling into the pit they have dug for themselves.
4) Some Indians believe that a father who does not have a son will go to hell called PU. Putra means one who saves the father from the hell Pu. OK, so the ticket to heaven is based on one of the copulations with wife and determination of the sex of progeny? I would think twice before coming to that conclusion.
5)
When a girl child is born we spend our lives
being worried for their safety- Is this not the result of your own failure to
teach the sons to respect the women? It we bring up the men teaching those
values, they will not look at everything with a skirt, sari, or dress as a sex
object. We teach them from birth that women are meant to serve them and that is
how they have learnt to rape and treat women bad.
The government will introduce stricter laws; people will not be allowed to follow gendercides. What happens to the girls that are forced to be born to these dumb, prejudiced and cruel people who wanted to kill her before she even opened her eyes? Some may kill her after she is born in a way where they will not be held responsible. Some common practices of infanticide are strangulation, poisoning, abandonment, dumping the baby along with garbage, drowning, live burials, starving the new born baby, stuffing her mouth with salt, or leaving her outdoors either in cold biting nights, or in burning sun until she dies of exposure. If she somehow overcomes this hurdle and survives, she will be looked down upon as an unwanted burden, not educated, respected, nor encouraged to be empowered in the society. She grows being subordinate to her brother and father, at times being abused by them, later to be sold like some cattle to people who will marry her to their son expecting her to bear sons to continue their progeny.
Then if she bears a girl child, she will be forced to abort her baby. In case she refuses, she will be subjected to torture, humiliation and even death threats. The law and police will be again showing sympathy with her family because their minds are lying low and stinking in the gutters as they are coming from the same patriarchal society. The mother is accused for bearing girl child. The circle continues forever.
What right do we have to force these people who are not fit
to be humans, leave alone parents, to have girl child? Is it right to subject
the girl child to continuous humiliation and torture in name of stopping
gendercide? We don’t have right to take away a life, but do we have right to
subject a young baby to torture, humiliation and abuse for a life time? Only
people who can care and love a daughter deserve to have her, not just every
dumb and stupid person who does not know her value. I prefer encouraging those
people who prefer the male child to go ahead and have them. I suggest that we
stop preventing them from determining the sex of the child. It is going to
create imbalance, which is already seen in states like Punjab and Haryana. One
day when they cannot find the girl to marry their sons they will realize the
value of the girl child. The society will learn to respect the girls and value
them when they realize that those male progenies cannot carry forward their
family names without a girl.
If daughters are born only in families which will love and respect them, then their future will be bright. They will be protected, educated and loved, thus giving them confidence to live their lives respectfully in the society. These people will never marry their daughters into families who demand dowry and ill treat their women. These girls, who have grown up with confidence, will look forward to having a child, not just a son, because they will know that gender does not make any difference. Along with those fetuses will die the patriarch society which uses women like doormats.
I am mother and I love my son and my daughter equally. The
best compliment I give my son is “Beta you are so understanding and caring that
you are like a daughter to me”. The clever young man acknowledges this compliment
without questioning me because he knows the worth of being a woman in someone’s
life, especially a mother’s life.
This blog post is a part of iDiya which is ISB's National Social Venture Competition that aims to stimulate, enable and develop high-impact, self-sustaining social businesses in India, who are partnering with Indichange where bloggers are allowed to blog about any social cause they are passionate about, and its potential solution. If there are any inspiring people or organizations working towards solving it, blog about them as well.
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