Monday, September 5, 2011

Improve your Parenting Skills

Towards Becoming Better Parents

When children are born, they are like blank slates on which their parents' help to script the beginnings of the stories of their lives. Every child grows up and ultimately charts his own destiny; his parents get to lay only the foundation.

For a job like typists, teacher, clerk or driver, people will train you and check your credentials before appointment. But parenting is always taken for granted and no one is ever checked out whether they are capable of becoming good parents or not. We mostly depend on our instincts when it comes to our children, whereas when we are cooking we would always consult someone who is better knowledgeable about it. It is time for a change now. In today’s world parenting cannot be taken for granted. We as the parents need help for the total development of our children...

The greatest asset and strength you have as a parent is your love for your Children, your concern for their well-being. You already have the skills of being a good parent; all you need to do is re-discover your full potential to help keep your children away from problem behaviours like smoking, addictions etc.
Once your child begins to talk, it’s not long before their questions follow. “Why is the milk white?” “Why is the sky blue? Those simple questions will soon give way to “What’s wrong with that man who is staring at us?” “Why should we not smoke cigarettes?” and “Why does grandmother cough so much?” Take advantage of this initial trust your child has in you.  Try to answer those questions so that someday you will come across serious questions where the guidance is required. Time will fly with kids around and soon the will be learning more and reach a stage where s/he will think you do not know anything much. That phase is not much far of, so build up the trust by making efforts to give honest answers which the child can grasp. Don’t tell things that the child will not be able to understand or handle. Once the child knows that you are taking him seriously and trying hard to answer all his/her questions he/she will sure come to you when something bothers them or they need advice because they know you take them seriously. They are more important than the TV serials, cooking, cleaning, surfing internet etc.
Being a good listener gives you insight into your children’s world– the sights and sounds that influence them every day. God has given clear indication of his intentions with the way he has made us. We have just one mouth which can be shut but two ears that are always open. Don’t hear what your children say; listen to them. Sometimes they may be just checking you out whether it is right for them to tell you something that is troubling them.
 For example: When the child says “This time around math paper was very tough and all kids are worried”. This could be just to see how you are going to respond if he tells you that he has done poorly in his math paper. Don’t put them off by getting over excited or scared when they reveal something to you. Do not ignore their friends or be-little them. Knowing their friends and activities also gives you a look into THEIR world, which is so different from what we are living in. When a child says that I want to wear the jeans like the one my friends have bought – don’t just chide him away saying only bad kids wear jeans. Children are smarter than that to take those silly words seriously. If they are in mood for an argument than you will have one on hand or else you will be written off as an ignorant fool in the subconscious Diary they keep inside them always.

Our children are precious, know them, love them and let them grow into amazing peaceful individuals. 


  1. wow...lovely post...
    it is the parents on whom the future society depends... :)

  2. Very useful. "Listen to them", "Do not ignore their friends" are some lessons I have learnt personally.

  3. I use to tell mine kids that I love them and respect them no matter what they do. I could say: I love you, but I do not like this thing you did. Depending on what issue it is. And I told them: If you find you are gay, loving a black woman or whatever, I dont care, as long you are happy about your life and your choices. Mine kids was very young when I told them this, but I believe in giving respect, and let them know. So they dont have to worry: do mum hate this or that or...? You always bring up so importaint stuff :) hugs :)

  4. A child's world is lot more complicated these days, guidance goes only so far, we can be the best example for them, give them the respect, teach not command and yet allow enough leeway for them to learn with mistakes.

    As parents we are not perfect but we need to earn and have their respect above all.

  5. Lovely post mam :)
    good points to be read !

  6. loved it, especially the maths paper part. they may be checking you out, very true.

  7. Today's kids are very smart,you cant hoodwink them.You should guide them without being stuffy or judgmental;or else they will never confide in you.

  8. This is a great article and has some really inspiring and wonderful comments! I agree: Listen to your kids, don't just hear what they say! It is very true.

    I would be very happy to link to you and would really love it if you like my blog enough to contribute a guest article to it. Thanks.

  9. Beautiful, Beautiful post!
    As a parent I always take extra care as to what I say and I always assure mu lil one of my trust. I enquire as to how she spent the day at school as I narrate as to what I did at home. Every single detail. I also don't put forward petty excuses I always explain to her the situation and she does understands....
    There are so many things that are flashing through my mind that this comment will turn into an essay itself. All I can say we love and trust each other very much:)

  10. True and you know parenting is definitely an art. I see so many ladies here and I am sorry to say that they are not good mothers. I think they don't need to work on th e basics of being a good mother. Buying things doesn't make you a good parent. You have listen to them...


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