Wednesday, May 22, 2019

100 Rays Of Son -10

 Hearing With Ears and Listening With Heart

One of my Cousin was criticiser of every almost all of his family members and also of the people around him. He did not like the way we spoke using local accent, dressing, walking, and sitting. To be precise whatever everyday activity which someone would take as natural and for granted, would be found fault with and corrected by him. Even I was target of his criticism at times. He was not a bad person, but he wanted people to follow few rules, principles and ethics to have better presentation of themselves in society. Unfortunately, he was always misunderstood by others and would be called a nagging person. Some children would even make fun of him behind his back.
Rayyan liked this person and was not offended by him even once. The only person he ever praised was also Rayyan. Not once I had heard him criticize Rayyan or nag him about anything. He always had good words to tell about Rayyan and I think that those good words were reserved only for Rayyan which looked unfair to me. Once I asked him, “How come you never say anything about Rayyan, when you criticize everyone? I am sure not even Rayyan follows everything you ask him to do”. He answered, “Don’t you see that everyone is trying to justify that they are right and what I am telling is wrong? They don’t even listen to what I have to say. I only want the wellbeing of my family, which is the reason I try to guide them. I have travelled around the world and got to know much more things than what they can learn in this tiny village. I try to make them better, but most often they just ignore me. But, as you say, Rayyan may not follow everything I tell him, but watch him listen when I am talking. He appreciates what I say. Never interrupts me nor he completes my sentences for me. He never tries to justify what he is doing is right. Therefore, for me it is not important how much of my advice he takes seriously or follows it religiously; it is the way he listens to me and shows respect for what I have to say, that makes me happy”. What he said was quite convincing for me because I myself had experienced that with Rayyan.
On the other hand once when I asked Rayyan why is that the family of my cousin doesn’t listen to his advice and follow his instruction to avoid conflicts at home, Rayyan answered, “Maa when people do not respect others and do not listen with their heart but only hear the words with their ears, it becomes a sound. With passing days it becomes like the sound of train engine or a fan which runs in the background without disturbing us. First we have to respect what a person is telling us and then decide whether it is good to be taken seriously or not. When we become judgmental when listening, the communication itself is useless”. I have taken this both insights of two people very seriously and it has helped me in different ways in my life. At times, I just consider the words to be sound and ignore it as well, which I was unable to do earlier.
I am sharing three pictures of Rayyan below taken in the span of ten years. One is with Jay, when he is talking about the English Car Club, another at a blogger meet when a blogger was sharing his blogging journey and then a recent one at Giggler’s party when a parent was talking about their experience in My Giggle Garden. You can see the seriousness with which he is listening. I am sure, he knows how to hear with his ears and listen with heart.  I am trying to get there slowly…..

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