Saturday, June 22, 2019

100 Rays Of Son - 41

Rayyan’s Girl Friends
Please do take note that there is a space put in between Girl and Friends above intentionally because the space has always been maintained.
Since his childhood, Rayyan has never been attracted gender wise for his friendship. His friends are boys, girls, men, women, children and animals. It always depended on that particular situation, place, and the living being with whom he would bond. Among his share of friendships, there have been some great ones with girls as well. Some have continued to be long distance ones, and others close to home.
Sometimes, I have been surprised by the trust his friends show in him and also the special and pure bonding they share. When we shifted to Byndoor, Rayyan had found a good friend in our neighbourhood. They both would chat for hours without getting bored. They played, partied and had had great time together. His friend was a bit elder to him and was also very protective of Rayyan. One day, she had watched the movie of Hritik Roshan’s Kaho naa pyaar hai and was excited to narrate its story to him. When I left him to hear the story she had just started with the first scene. When I entered the scene three hours later, he was listening with same interest and she was narrating it equally excited to the last scene. “How the narration of the story is longer than the movie?” I asked laughing, and she replied innocently, “Few scenes which he cannot see has to be described, right? So it took a bit extra time”. Their friendship was one of the most selfless, trusting and beautiful one I have ever come across. Even when she wanted to click some good pictures for her fiancĂ©, she trusted Rayyan more than me. When asked why Rayyan and not me, she replied, “I am shy in front of you”. OK. That sent in a lot of messages to me and also reminded me how insecure I felt around boys as a teenager. I was happy that I had brought up my boy in a way that girls trusted him more than his mom. In a small Indian town, it was difficult to believe such friendship existed.
I am very sure that no girl has ever felt threatened or unsafe with Rayyan, even if they are alone with him. Rayyan has always looked at people as persons without taking into account their age, gender, color, status or anything for that matter. I have been amazed with friendships so far.
When I tag him to my cancer support meets, he bonds well with my friend Uma Pai and she looks forward to meet him as well. Diane was another person, who bonded with Rayyan ignoring cultural and age barriers. Jay and Paula were friends but then became more like a family to him.
When I asked him when he will introduce me someone where the space will not exist between the girl and friend, he answers calmly, that it will happen when it has to happen. I am a bit restless, but Rayyan seems calm and patient. I know that he doesn’t believe that the sole purpose of a girl is to find a husband and marry so the sole purpose of the guy should not be to look at a girl for the purpose of marriage or for a serious relationship. He says that the world would be much better place if girls or women were treated like any other person. When I think back about my teen years and how even small gestures, looks or words would make me feel uncomfortable, I realized how much such a view from a guy is welcome in our world. This is how I learned to respect Rayyan more than I love him.
So, for him the relationships do not point towards love like the one we see in movies. I am not sure if this is what they say about the ‘good guys being friendzoned’ because the only difference I see here is that the choice is made by Rayyan to be there until everything falls in right place. I keep looking but I know I have wait for him to find his soul mate who will be on the same plane of thoughts like him. I am sure there is someone right for him somewhere in the world. I just want him to show some interest in looking …..

Very comfortable with my cancer survivor friends.................. 

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