SelfV - Survivor Stories

Update: The SelfV Second Edition is going on. Log onto to http://selfv.in/ for more information and inspiration. Share your story or those of your dear ones to encourage people to fight cancer better. 

Walking down the memory lane, here is what happened @ last year SelfV contest. 

For once, it was not just the battle with cancer that the survivors won; in addition they won Harley Davidson Super Bike, a Samsung Led Smart TV, merchandise from designer label Armani and many more. 10 winners were chosen by a special jury and I am glad to say I am one of them. 

What Do We Want From Our Children? II

In today’s world when every parent wants their kids to be all rounder and want to fulfill their dreams through them. This courageous mother realized that her son’s happiness and contentment was more important than the ambition of having an all around performer. This post has been picked up by Rekha.

So after seeing the contribution of my daughter to my life in my post What Do We Want From Our Children?, let us now see what my son has contributed to my life. Let me introduce you people to Rayyan once again after bragging about him on his birthday.

What Do We Want From Our Children?

What Parents Expect From Children?

Thank You Blogadda

If you were to ask the question ‘What do you want from your children?’ to a parent, they would find it very tough to answer. Gone are those days when you heard parents expecting the son or daughter to be a doctor, engineer, and many other such professionals; these are the days when parents want their children to be all rounder. They have a list of things which they want their children to excel in. The stupid ‘me’ lived in the notion it was wrong for us to pressurize our children to take certain professional of parental choice. The parent species has left me behind and evolved far ahead of that phase.

From Being Bullied To Being A Bully

1000 Voices Speak for Compassion 

I missed out writing on 1000 voices speak for compassion last month, i.e. on February 20^th. Building from Bullying is a topic I could not miss to write about. This time around I made it a point to share my own experience with bullying, because what I am today may have started with bullying in my childhood. 

Paid in Full (With High Interest)

Back in my naughty childhood days, when I would be a nasty child driving my Mom crazy, disobeying her or acting weird, my family would tell me, “You have to respect and obey your Mom, the heaven lies under her feet. Even if you carry her on your shoulders for a decade, you cannot repay her for carrying you in her womb for a day…………………………. Blah!” The end point of all the blahing was that a child can never repay a mother. I know I couldn’t, but I think my daughter has paid me back for being her Mom in full and with high interest added to the premium.

Once Upon A Time…..

Once upon a time, I enjoyed Diwali to the fullest – bursting firecrackers, eating sweets, having a blast with my sister and visiting friends. Times have changed, so have I. People have moved away from each other and there are not many invitations passing around for Diwali celebrations for me to pick up from. Even if I did have a chance to celebrate Diwali with friends, I would be conscious of eating sweets due to my weight gain and I would not be able to enjoy the firecrackers thinking of pollution and the child labors who manufacture them under harsh conditions.

As you sow, so shall you reap!

A funny incident took place at home recently which was a great eye opener for me. We had issues with fees payment of Rayyan with a bit of confusion thrown in for spice. Finally, the issue was sorted out and a slip given which finalized what we had to pay.

The Country of Million Goddesses...

I was born in a country where people worship millions of different goddesses. They are not just consorts of other supreme Gods, but have immense power of their own that has shaken the whole world so often. Ours is one of those rare nations which believe that a Goddess (and not God) named Shakti was responsible for creation of the universe. She was there even before anything else existed. She is worshiped as the feminine creator, the supreme Divine God Mother who is subordinate to none.

Ours is the land where the power of knowledge, wealth and strength is in the hands of goddesses rather than Gods, yet the women of our country suffer from lack of education, financial independence and empowerment.  Our hypocritical society worships goddesses on one hand, while on the other they suppress their women subjecting them to humiliation, insults and violence.  Though we believe that Goddess Shakti exists as a svātantrya, which means she is dependent on no one, being interdependent with the entire universe; our  society has pushed women be dependent on fathers, husbands and sons which means they are never independent ever in their life.

I am a woman and being a woman has never made me feel weak or helpless anytime in my life. I always knew the pros and cons of being a woman, but then I had strength inside me which made me defend myself against odds. The first promise I made was long time ago, to myself, that I will respect and love myself - no matter who is with me or who is not, I will never let myself down. The promise I made to myself has stood strong for 38 years. I have been right, I have been wrong, I fallen and risen again, but somehow I have been accepting myself with all the flaws I have. Without respecting and loving the woman I am with 24/7 what will I be able to do to someone else?

I have always felt strongly about the violence against children and women all through my life. Off course I don’t have any intention of causing harm to men or other sect of population, but my feelings towards women and children are just stronger. The reason could be the physical vulnerability of women and children, besides most of them being dependent on others, which makes them easy victims of violence.

Mother nature has never given any hint to the women that they are the subordinate to men and therefore should suffer their dominance in silence. I am not a great biologist, but with whatever literature I have come across, there is no other species in which the male dominates and physically hurts a female. But somehow this has become common in the human race. Most of the women silently suffer domestic violence as they have been conditioned to believe that is the part and parcel of married life or precisely the woman's life.

Most of the girls are trained to obey their dads and brothers and be silent when the men enter home. The women of the house are the first perpetrators of domestic violence against women as they take away the self respect, confidence and empowerment of their daughters in the name of disciplining them.
Child marriage is another major contributor to domestic violence. The girls who get married at a young age are deprived of their education and proper development. They often end up being dependent of men for their everyday basic necessities which again make them believe that the men are the providers and their masters. My friend and blogger Anita says that women who do not leave their abusive husband should not be considered cowardly as she believes many stay because they are either brainwashed to thinking that being beaten is a form of love, or because they feel that if they leave or seek help, they will end up poor and homeless. The girls who are married at a young age are caught in the vicious circle with no way out. Where would these girls go from the abusive husband with 2-3 small children when they themselves are just entering the womanhood?

Most of the people do not tend to take domestic violence seriously. Even when they hear sounds of a man abusing his wife and her cries for help, they usually say this is their personal problem and tend to rubbish it all off. It is not uncommon in India to insult the abused woman for creating noise and spoiling peace of the neighborhood in the night. Believe me; this would be done by another woman in most cases.  Most of the people who ignore domestic violence assume that everything will be OK by the time the couple have dinner and sleep. Is this true? Should we really turn a blind eye to domestic violence and maintain silence even when statistics show that nearly 40-70% of women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends? This is only based on the cases that were reported. Most of the women who are victims of domestic violence suffer in silence due to various reasons. More than the physical violence it is the emotional and psychological torture a woman is subjected to in some relationships that is often overlooked by family and friends unless something drastic happens.

Law can be implemented only when the case of domestic violence is reported. Women who are scared of being thrown out on streets without anyone to care or support them will never gain courage to lodge a complaint against their husbands. Many of them would even consider going against their husbands (even the cruel and abusive ones)  a great sin which will take them to hell to burn there forever. For a educated and liberated woman, it would be quite difficult to think in the levels of those helpless women and for those victimized women it is impossible to imagine that they are respectful individuals who need not be subservient to anyone.

The change has to come in the thought process of the society and women themselves. They need to change their attitude towards self and start respecting and believing in their abilities. Even the women who stay at home and take care of their families are contributing equally as the men in their lives. Let them realize the worth of their work. Women empowerment groups should concentrate more on changing the mind set ingrained in our society rather than asking for stronger laws. Those who are responsible for law and order themselves do not take the complaints of domestic violence seriously as they again belong to the same society.

Time has come for the women who have realized their own potential to help the others do the same. There is no need to look down upon those helpless victims of domestic and ask questions like, “Why don’t you walk out?” “Why don’t you hit him back?” “Why don’t you lodge a complaint with the police?” “Do you really have a marriage there?”  Not everyone in our society is able to answer those questions. Let us not consider the victims of domestic violence as weak and not so courageous women. There is much more that has led to their present condition… there is lot influence and pressure exerted from upbringing, attitudes and circumstances that has sewn their lips. Support the women and let them come out of the vicious circle. When the daughter who has watched her mother being beaten by her father, she slowly accepts this as the part of life. She may not feel it is wrong for her husband to hit or abuse her thus creating a vicious circle for the generations of women to come from which there will be no escape.

My pledge is to create awareness among women about their own potential and power. They are the creators of man. They hold them in their wombs when and feed them with their breast milk when they are helpless and weak. There are the mothers and nurturers of society. Instilling confidence and self respect is what I intend to do for women around me….

My previous posts of regarding rights of women...

Bangalore for Women with Special Needs

I promote Girl Child Infanticide..Yes! You got it right!

From the Land Where Draupadi was Disrobed

Break the Silence… Ring Warning Bells!

This post is a part of Indichange joining hands with Bell Bajao where blogging turns into action .. 

Crossing Boundaries To Enter Digital Zone

#DigitalIndia

It was a welcome news to me to learn that one of the worlds largest and highest valued semiconductor chip makers, Intel, supports the Digital India Vision. It is heartening to know that Google, Nokia, Mark Zuckerberg and Microsoft are just few of the big companies supporting the vision of Digital Vision vigorously promoted by our PM.

I personally know the value and need of Digital world which gives wings to your dreams. I am quite sure through its ‘Digital Skills for India’ and ‘Innovate for India’ initiatives, Intel along with the supportive government will succeed in nurturing and promoting technology as the enabler for creating a digitized India.

Long before Modi Government decided to take the initiative of Digital India, I had chosen to take a digital initiative to change my own life. I have to confess that I messed up with few decisions, ‘very important decisions’ of my life. Few years ago, I found myself in a very sticky situation that did not make me feel happy about myself. That is when digital media came to my rescue like a knight in shining armor.

There came a time in my life when I was overwhelmed with a feeling that I have not done anything much in my life. I had given up on my studies without pursuing graduation, did not have a stable job or financial independence to start anything anew. Moreover, I had to take care of a special needs child, which restricted my activities outdoors. It was very difficult to step the first step towards progress from where I stood at that stage.

When at loss as to how to go about making a difference to my life, I discovered computers and internet. From a tiny village called Byndoor, I started my journey which literally took me around the globe to USA. Things did not work out just at a click of a button, when I logged on to internet. It all happened one step at a time, but miles were covered in no time.

The first step for me was make sure I existed with my own identity. When women get married and move away from their home, somewhere down the lane that identity of who you are can be lost. For me it was more of self-assurance than proving my existence to someone else. That is when I decided to blog about my cancer experience, my life experiences and writing skills in a personal blog I created on Blogger. My whole life underwent a huge change with blogging.

My first major encouragement and sense of accomplishment came by when I won a cash prize of 50,000 INR in a blogging contest. That was my first achievement in quite some years. That gave me enough momentum to pick up the strands and weave a beautiful dream for future. In later months there came along many more blogging contests prizes including the first prize of Dell Inspiron from Intel for their "My Favorite PC App" contest.

Today, with the help of digital media I have a steady flow of income which has given me complete financial independence as a freelance content writer for websites. I could complete my post-graduation, since studying was easy with information available on internet. YouTube, interactive media and other study aids are way ahead of the lectures I had to sit through in my college days.

My son and daughter have both equally benefited from the digital media. My son Rayyan pursues his animation career in Digital Juice Animations as an animator, a career he desired and loved. It is amazing what you can create with computers for entertainment with some effort. My special needs daughter takes her iPad as a window through which she looks at the world. She surfs on net, goes online window shopping (which turns into shopping at times) and keeps in touch with friends through internet. With introduction to digital world, she found a way to keep herself entertained. Working online, I look forward to high speed internet availability in India. It will make a huge difference to the output of my work. Secretly, I also yearn for the entertainment options it would open for us, because we depend on internet for TV programs viewing. With the help of internet and digital media, you can reach for the skies if you have enough drive.

That is just a few things about how digital world made a change in our lives. If this can happen to a family, imagine the impact digital vision would have on a country like India, which has un-trapped potentials hidden underground everywhere.

Today India is divided into two halves of digital know-all’s and digital illiterates. When the bridge between these two sections is created, the country can see tremendous progress in short period. The main aim of Digital India is to reach out to the poor and underprivileged, who at present do not have right access to digital world.

When e-governance, e-commerce and e-health initiative will reach the rural India, we will see an emergence of modernity in our country. Tackling corruption is also going to be a lot easier with rise of Digital India. The transformation will require more than the estimated just the Rs 1,13,000 crores as projected by the government of India. It will require the cooperation of Indian citizens, both the digital literates and illiterates to bring about the change. 

It is going to be possible only when all Indians work as single Pentium chip set to make our society a digital empowered in par with any developed nation of the world. The state governments which are constantly at loggerheads with the center, for once will have to move in tandem if the change is to take place.

I am glad today that instead of arguing whether we should call it Digital India Vision or Digital Bharat Vision or Digital Hindustan Vision, the government is moving forward with the plan. That itself is a great progress for our country. Someday, Department of Electronics and Information Technology (DeitY) will join the huge group of deities in India, bringing in another holiday on our calendar. That will be one holiday I will celebrate and look forward to. Like Douglas Engelbart said, “The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing”. Let the revolution begin in India!

Our Digital Planet

Thank you animator Rayyan for creating amazing images for my blog

The Joy Of Lollipop – New Moto E Smart Phone, Smart Choice

There's no denying that candy is comfort food and it's affordable.

Dylan Lauren

Fortunately for me, today Lollipop is an innovative comfort which is affordable within my budget. Nearing my 50s I do enjoy Lollipop, including breaking the ones in Candy Crush game. But here I am talking about Android Lollipop which comes with innovative advantage that will allow me to play Asphalt Airborne 8 without wearing down my phone battery. Though named lollipop, the technology comes with a major difference from its sibling KitKat (another candy). Google is a well-established platform with its own credibility, and here we see with Lollipop it moves several steps ahead. You will be amazed to see the difference of Google on mobile platform. It comes with a refined look supported by great back-end tools and protocols that makes your mobile experience quite sweet. The experience is just like sucking on your favorite lollipop candy. Comforting, soothing and joyous. You don’t have to wait for updates anymore either.

Android Lollipop is a great customize-able  platform which is damn easy to understand and use, especially if you are an android user like me. I can easily transfer all my games and apps without any hassle to my new Moto-E  from my old android phone. I can further customize Moto-E to fit my lifestyle needs from simply altering the size of my phone icons and keyboard to the complicated games and practically functional apps on my home screen.

My work is unpredictable as I am freelancer. I am always running towards the deadlines. Nothing can be worse than having your laptop with all the training program of the day soaked in the highly unpredictable rains that lash out on Bangalore anytime. From the days of making fun about weather reports, today I keep checking on Google weather to know whether I can take out my two-wheeler for the day or not. I don’t have to worry about the phone anymore since it comes with water-repellent coating and Corning Gorilla Glass protect.

People who know me, even know the ugly truth about me that I love to talk. Now with the help of new generation of smart phone, I can use my voice to get things done. Wow! All I have to do is say “OK Google” to ask a question, send a text, set a reminder, and get directions or whatever I need to do for the day. I wish people around me were as smart as these smart phones and listen to me as well.

The design of new Moto E is soft on your eyes. The curved design is gives you an easy and comfortable grip on the phone, especially when someone you called for a tiny information doesn’t give that particular information you need but continues talking about everything else. That is the time when you hold your phone tightly and realize the soft curved edge helps.

Music is a stress buster and Linkin Park can chase away stress, especially if the music is streaming from excellent front speakers of Moto E.

Somehow, I have slipped down from high-end expensive phones to appreciate the latest budget phones which come with amazing features and cost you quite less. You will not even see the shopping reflecting in your bank balance. Look at the latest New Moto-E. Priced below 7000/- on Flipkart, this amazing smart phone has every feature I would require for my daily personal and professional use. The legendary phones are climbing up the price ladder every now and then, making me lose my interest in them.

Check out these amazing feature of New Moto –E 

·         4.5-inch TFT LCD Touchscreen which allows me to read emergency work related notes

·         Dual Sim helps me manage the my personal and professional life on single phone

·         1.2 GHz Quad Core Processor enough to run most of the applications, slide shares and games

·         Wi-Fi Enabled for broadband internet speed

·         Android v5.0 (Lollipop) OS, the latest operative system that updates without delay

·         0.3 MP Secondary Camera for skyping or video conferencing

·         5 MP Primary Camera off course we need that for special photos

·         Expandable Storage Capacity of 32 GB which gets full quite fast nowadays

I cannot convince myself to spend 10 times extra money on a phone when the budget phone gives me all the practical and necessary use of phone. I #ChooseToStart making new smart choices of savings with the new Moto E phone. It is all new sweet and smart experience that comes with using a smart phone which fits in like a glove to both my professional and personal lifestyle.